Love Is Blind
by Lexia Clark
Summary: Magnus is a sarcastic party boy but will he settle down when he meets a funny blind boy at his party? *I suck at summaries but please read it's my first story* hope y'all like it I also apologize in advance for my crap editing skills. Errors will most likely abound
1. No Dogs Allowed

The party was in full swing and I hadn't had a drink yet. I got up and was half way to the makeshift bar when the doorbell rang... again.

"Seriously, do they not know how to open a door!" I was being a queen and I knew it. Turning on my beautiful silver combat boots' heels, I slowly walked over to the door. Saying high to some friends from uptown, I heard the doorbell ring again. This was getting ridiculous! Pushing past a few grumbling blondes in tight red dresses and fuck me heels that were so last season it was a tragedy, I snatched open the door.

It looked like the cast of _One Life To Waste_ had landed on my doorstep. Staring at the small group in front of me I recognized almost instantly the short red head at the front. Clary Fray was dressed to kill in a black number that showed off her petite frame and a pair of long fairy sandals that twined up her legs and accented her pale skin perfectly. Someone had obviously dressed her. Not that Clary didn't look put together most of the time… She just didn't look like this.

"Clary what a nice surprise. To what do I owe this joyous occasion." I was purposely ignoring her friends. I seriously wanted to get back to my party and have the group of twenty-somethings out of my life, at least for the night. I was going to have fun, probably get hammered and hammer a few people, but I couldn't exactly do that with a client around.

"Oh Magnus, ugh see, I forgot my birthday and I tried to breath and focus like you but it is just isn't there. My friends and I were going to go out but I needed to get this sorted out first." She gestured behind her and I was forced to glance around at the mix matched assortment of people.

Just behind Clary and looming over her short stature was a boy with a sex head full of blond curls and a pair of golden eyes. He looked more at home on the set of Baywatch then outside my door and my mind instantly registered _self-assured asshat. Move on Magnus!_ Quickly shifting my gaze, I spied someone I might actually get along with, other than Clary of course.

A woman with legs that went on for miles, slowly looked me up and down before meeting my eyes with a slight smirk. She had obviously dressed Clary for the occasion. What with her sky high black tuxedo pumps, which only added to her already considerable height, and her gorgeous black and blue sequined mini dress, she had an eye for fashion and a good one at that. I stuck my hand out toward her, partly to inspect her nails to see if they were up to code and partly to actually meet this badass fashion princess.

"I'm Magnus, Magnus Bane." Another smirk graced her pale face but this one with more warmth. Her almost black eyes twinkled and she took my hand with a firm grip. Her matching black and blue manicure was flawless.

"I know. I'm Isabelle Lightwood." The name tickled something in the back of my mind but I put it away when I spied the black mass of fur next to Isabelle.

I looked up at her and tried to nicely say, "No dogs allowed," But it came out in a deadpan and a flicker of anger passed behind the previously twinkling eyes. I nearly took a step back, afraid that Isabelle's fist was about to meet my face, when a beautiful voice called out from behind where Isabelle and Mr. Baywatch, as I had dubbed him, stood.

"I'm sorry for the inconvenience but there are – are special circumstances." A halo of tousled black hair slowly peaked out and a face paler than Isabelle's peaked around the two. Another disgruntled whisper came from the man saying something like, "Move you two. Jace stop being such a ducking glass mole." As if he had just parted the red sea, the angel with the raven hair stepped fully in front of me, the dog staying obediently at his heel.

"It's my cat's birthday party after all darling. I'm sorry but no dogs." I was getting a little angry. Why couldn't he park the animal on the step? He wasn't going to die if the dog didn't go into my party. Clary would be gone in 5 minutes tops, what was the big deal?

"Umm, I-I'm blind. I kinda need him to see. I'm sorry I can stand outside." He slowly started to turn and I snapped my hand out to put a hand on his shoulder. A small shiver rippled through his body at the touch and I pulled my hand back just as quickly. His eyes snapped open and thinking back, I guess I should have realized he was blind. What normal person walks around with their eyes closed? What a damn shame though because the innocent pools of dark blue that unfurled from underneath long dark lashes nearly took my breath away.

Taking a better look at him, I slowly took in the long, lanky body clad in a dark grey knit sweater and a pair of faded blue jeans. Hardly anything I usually went for but there was something about this guy. Something that made me want to know him. Something that made me want to take down the walls, I had so carefully constructed since – since everything. I wouldn't, no I couldn't, think about that now, not with the vision of an angel before me.

"No, no don't go. Come in. I'm sure the Chairman isn't even here anyway. He hates parties." Stepping back from my place in the doorway I quickly jerk my hand in a "come in" gesture. I needed to get out of this situation, it was awkward. I was Magnus freaking Bane, counselor and psychologist by day and the best damn party boy Brooklyn's ever seen during the night, I didn't do awkward.

The little poise stepped through the entrance way and Isabelle pulled away from the rest of them mumbling something to the guy with the blue eyes about "looking around." A new song came over the booming sound system and I watched as Isabelle swung her way over to the bar and dance floor.

Trying to regain my cool composure, I morphed my face into its usual mask of snarky and sultry before turning to the remaining trio. "Clary darling lets go get your file and I'll mark this down. How bout I look up some different techniques we can try and I'll get back to you tomorrow?" Clary's extreme selective memory loss was the least of my concern right now and I knew I was brushing her off but I was amazing at what I did most of the time. Going above and beyond for the cause, what could one night blown off hurt?

"Oh okay. You'll call me though right?" A light blush colored her cheeks as she said, "I'll probably forget."

"Yes, yes darling of course. That is my job after all." Clary, Mr. Baywatch, and the blue eyed angel started to make their way to the front door but for some crazy reason, after taking another look at the blind guys retreating form, I called, "Hey, do you want to stay?"

Turning back around, Clary's eyes danced, whether from excitement or the lights flickering around the apartment, I couldn't tell. Nodding, her red curls flying, and glancing up at Mr. Baywatch, Clary looked like a teenager who just got their car. Mr. Baywatch sighed and smoothly reached out to grab Baby Blue, agh the name possibilities with this one, only to lead him over to the one empty chair in the room, before leaning down to place a sweet kiss on Clary's cheek and leading her off into the crowd. Now was my chance to apologize for my earlier fuck up.

Walking smoothly over and gently but forcefully telling a pair of uptown teenagers who had slipped in somehow to "Stop humping on the coach," I sat down and swung my legs up so that no one would be able to interrupt.

"I'm sorry about earlier. I'm not usually such an asshat." It wasn't enough, but a small smile broke over the mans face and a light blush crept up his cheeks. An adorable pink that just barely tinted his high cheekbones and faded back to the gorgeous crème of his skin.

"It's okay. You couldn't have known. You're not a wizard, I think. I'm Alexander by the way, but please call me Alec. Alexander makes me sound.." He trailed off as if the word was too much for his voice to hold but I picked up the conversational bone, so to speak.

"Well Alec, would you like a drink?" The light pink that had started to fade back to normal, came back with a vengeance and within seconds his cheeks were a bright red. Doubting myself, which was really out of character, I started to over compensate. "It's cool if you don't I just, I don't kn-"

"Magnus, was it?"

I barely got out my yes before Alec continued speaking. "Well Magnus, shut up. I would kill for a cherry coke right about now." The blush flared again and a nervous smile twitched at the corner of his full lips. I had to pull myself out of imagining what it would be like to kiss those lips before I stood up to go get his drink.

Coming back, I handed Alec his soda and I slowly started to sip on my Cosmo. We took up a light conversation, playing off one and another. It was easy. It made the weight on my chest that had sat there for nearly 5 years now start to lift, just a little, but it was lifting and I hadn't even known the guy for an hour.

About half an hour into our conversation, a blush rose unexpectedly in Alec's cheeks and he stuttered out something unintelligible.

"Excuse me, I'm sorry I didn't hear you."

"I asked if you could tell me what you're wearing. I – I can't see and it helps me, it helps me stay sane." The last part was barely above a whisper and with the thumping music I barely heard him across the 3 feet divide. Smiling to myself I started listing off my attire for the evening.

"I bought these gorgeous silver boots from this downtown place and I have on those. As for my shirt it's just a navy v-neck but my pants, man I love these pants, I got them last week from this amazing store called IZLW~Designs." At this a small, tinkling giggle erupted from Alec and I looked to him in confusion.

After a second round of giggling he said, "My sister owns that store and designs everything in there too. You're talking about the navy skinny jeans with the tiny crystals that look like the night sky right?"

A little taken a back all I could do was reply, "Yeah, how did you guess?"

"Isabelle tried to get me to wear them once. She said, 'Blue is so my color." He shrugged and almost on impulse I asked, "Would you like to hang out sometime?"

The blush made another appearance and my heart fell at his reply. Wait, whoa, whoa, whoa. Why was I being let down because some beautiful, sweet, blind guy told me no? I was Magnus freakin Bane, I didn't get let down. I needed to get my feelings in check and I tried to mask my face into careful boredom before realizing it didn't matter what my face looked like, he couldn't see it anyway.

"I- I would like that. Can it be here-I know the way and I wouldn't have to have someone with me. That is if you don't want someone with me…" He didn't get far with that because with a smug sort of satisfaction I cut him off.  
"Alec shut up. How does tomorrow at five sound?"

"I'll have to be here at 5:30. My shift doesn't end till 5:15."

"Great. Perfection." We slowly feel into the easy banter before Mr. Baywatch came up behind Alec and tapped his shoulder. He was carrying an intoxicated Isabelle and Clary was trailing behind.

"Come on man, we gotta get Iz out of here before she makes a fool of herself and then the camera's will have a field day with that one."

"Alright." Alec stood up and brushed off his sweater front. The dog, which I had almost forgotten about, obediently stood up with him and Alec placed a hand on Mr. Baywatch's shoulder before turning back in my direction and mouthing, "tomorrow?"

"Yes." Baywatch and Clary looked at me for my seemingly random sentence but Alec's lips formed into a big lopsided grin and the group left without another word.

"Big thanks Magnus. What would we ever do without you Oh! Magnificent Magnus! We aren't worthy to bask in your sparkles," I was complaining but I quickly shut up when I spied the half drank Cherry Coke sitting on the arm of the chair.

Standing up and looking into the mirror on the opposite wall, carefully tugging a strand of my array of spikes into its proper place and gently cleaning up my eyeliner with my finger, I turned around and pushed myself back into the party. Somehow, even as I danced and bass pounded through my head all that consumed my thoughts were pools of blue and sweet innocent pink blushes.


	2. I'm Gonna Give All My Secrets Away

**The lyrics Alec "comes up with on the spot" is from the beautiful song by Dashboard Confessional called **_**Vindicated. **_**I love the song and you guys should really check it out!**

**Narnia and Titanic, by the way, don't belong to me. Just thought you should know. (I don't own any of Cassandra Clare's characters either, just in case that was a point of confusion xD)**

**Now to the story.**

**~L.C**

**_xxXxx_**

The breeze smelled of hotdogs and taxi cabs and I was halfway to Magnus's house. If I was right, and I wasn't sure, I had 102 steps left to the front door of the building but 109 steps to the front door of his apartment. I usually could tell the exact number of steps down to the half and even quarter steps but this man had shaken something up inside of me and I was shining on the inside like a glow stick. I could think of nothing other than his voice with its funny accent and how it jumped slightly in pitch whenever I had blushed.

I hadn't told Jace or Izzy I was leaving. They wouldn't notice me gone anyways. They probably would run off with their new friends and not think of me for the rest of the day. It didn't make me sad anymore but if I was completely honest with myself I was slightly upset the Jace ignoring me but I had long moved past my feelings for my adoptive brother.

28 steps left and my heart was beating out of my chest. I realized the second or third week of having my "lil problem" that people loved to screw with the visually impaired. Since we can't see people's faces it's hard to tell when people are lying to us so when Magnus had offered for me to swing by I had taken a leap of faith by saying yes. 13 steps. 5 steps. Suddenly Jacob sat down and I nearly tripped over him for the 12 time. He licked my hand obviously worried. We were usually so in sync that some people joked about how we were one person but my mind was preoccupied … on a very interesting preoccupation.

"Sorry buddy. Good boy!" I reached up my hand to brush the apartment logo and was relived when it was the right one. I quickly walked up to the door and hesitated. Had he been kidding? Why would he want to see me? I was so plain and … and … broken. I shuddered at the word. Broken. But I hadn't walked all this way for nothing and suddenly a quote from a John Wayne movie Izzy had made me watch came to mind. "Bravery is being scared to death and going on anyway."

Scared to death? Check

Going to do this thing anyway? Check. I mean what could really go wrong?

The knock on the door seemed louder than a gunshot. The door felt cool and solid under my hand and almost decorative in a way as if it had carvings in it. Just as I was beginning to trace the design to figure out what it was the door opened and I stood there like an idiot with my hand stretched out and a heat rising in my cheeks. "Real smooth Alec. You look like that red head off titanic," I thought to myself. Before the accident Titanic had been my favorite movies but now it's just a reminder of all that had been stolen from me. I shook my head and said the smoothest thing I could possibly say in front of this man who had made me feel truly happy after knowing him for only a day and even now with just his presence in front of me I felt my stomach flutter, "Hey uhhh … I didn't get lost!"

Yeah that's me: sex on a stick with a side of a mental gps! I turned my head down with heat rising in my cheeks and I inwardly cursed my ability with words. Why can't I be like Jace who could get a girl to do just about anything with a simple sentence or Izzy who could talk to anyone with ease? I just sat there in my permanent cage of darkness and decidced to curse that too, but I was like that for only a minute before I heard the one sentence that could put my mind to rest.

"Well that's good I would have hated to eat this bag of pretsels all by myself." I thought I heard a smile in his voice. Suddenly I realized that I didn't know where the chairs were. I swallowed and mentally prepared for how to ask one of the many awkward questions that came with my disability.

"Umm I know this is weird but could you help me to a chair… I don't know the place and I-"

"Alec, shut up." I laughed out loud as he tossed the words I had told him last night in a rare moment of courage back at me. When he took my hand I instantly stiffened and blushed even more. The next second Magnus dropped my hand. "Oh my god. I'm sorry I ugh I was trying to … ugh but that's cool .. umm ya so-"

"Magnus, shut up." I reached out for his hand and felt the shake in his hand from him silently laughing as he led me over to a plush chair not unlike the one from last night but not the same one either. This one was felt like it was made of something close to a denim and I sunk in so deep that I felt as if it was swallowing me whole. I laughed when I pulled my hand away from touching the seam and felt the crumply sand texture of glitter.

"So … What would you like to talk about?" Ahh talking. Something I was not good at but feeling the whoosh of air and smelling the waft of matches and soft cologne from Magnus sitting directly across from me made me feel brave again and decided to go with the burning question on my mind at the moment.

"What are you wearing?" The heat in my cheeks must have betrayed me because all of a sudden he started laughing. It was an amazing laugh that gave me the butterflies in my stomach and it bounced around the house in a way that made me feel almost at home in the fluffy chair. It made me feel like I was being let in on a private joke that only Magnus's best friends knew and I loved the feeling of it. It was deep and rumbled like thunder and I almost needed to hear it again.

"Let's see … Dark blue jeans and a white sheer wife beater with sparkles because me and this heat do not agree. Oh and I'm not wearing shoes because I am a lazy man." Alec grinned at the mental picture.

"Thanks. You're very descriptive. It's nice," I shrug," Most people think it's a way to hit on them but.. I don't mean it like that at all."

"That's a damn shame …" I blushed at what he thought Magnus had meant and in an instant decided to lay it all out on the proverbial table. Suddenly he heard one republic playing in his head.

" _I'm gonna give all my secrets away"_

"I wasn't always blind ya know… I used to be normal." There it is. My chest clenched the moment the words left my mouth but it also felt like a 100 pound monkey just climbed off my back. To admit to someone this little detail was almost suicide in my opinion. I knew the hushed whispers with well wished things like "Oh my god I'm so sorry" or "I had no idea. You are very well adjusted". All of it dripping with sympathy and pity, both things he didn't want.

"That really does suck and I'm sorry Alexander, but I have a question then." I could feel my heart burst right at that moment with all the adoration I had for the man in front of me. Everything he had just said didn't make me feel like a child whose cat had gotten run over but like he was answering a math problem. He said like he knew it must suck but he didn't sound like he pitied me or looked down on me because of it. It was so refreshing I could have kissed him. Wait! Where did that come from? I had barely known him for 24 hours and already my thoughts were plagued with him and already I could just feel my heart begin to fall for Magnus.

"Shoot." At this point I would have answered just about anything.

"How do you get dressed?" I laughed at the randomness of the question. But thinking back to how he described his wardrobe the 2 times before it made sense to me.

"I had a tag attached to everything that tells me what it is and what its looks like." I pulled out the tag at the bottom of my black tshirt and suddenly Magnus sucked in a huge breath. "What's the matter?" I quick put down my shirt and tensed when he didn't answer me.

"Alec, how did you go blind?" Oh. OH! The scares were still there and in the pure moment of joy I felt after what Magnus had said after my announcement I had forgot and of course they would shock him. Suddenly I added my whole body to the things to curse in my head.

"Ugh well it's a long story. I'm sure you wouldn't want to hear it ." But I wanted him to want to hear it. I had lied to everyone about what had happened and maybe I had even lied to myself. After years of blaming myself suddenly I wanted someone to share my sadness and I wanted it to be Magnus because in the short 24 hours of our friendship I felt closer to him than anyone else... ever. Maybe I was falling to fast but I wasn't going to worry about it now.

Magnus took my hand and squeezed before saying, "Alec, I promise I have plenty of time and I would listen to anything you needed to say .. at any time about anything and everything." I sucked in yet another breath and mentally ran back to that day when my whole life changed.

"I was 11 and everyone found out... about me." Magnus shifted in his chair. I could almost feel his eyes burning confused holes into my hair. I decided to open my eyes after a moment and felt the pain of light but still the darkness enveloped me. I blinked once or twice before continuing just from old habits.

"They found out I liked … that I liked guys and, well, let me say it wasn't accepted well. My parents went totally batass crazy and the kids got just as crazy. Which was expected I guess, I went to a freaking Christian school after all. Well as your probably guessing they bullied me. That's how I got the scars. They used to beat me with their belts off our uniforms. I at first fought back but the teachers never believed me. All the kids would whisper when I walked by. They said that I was the devils child and that I deserved to die." When I felt Magnus stiffen and then shudder I felt that I needed to explain better, "I don't blame them. We were all playing house at that time. Acting like adults but really I was a stupid child just like the rest of them. We were all children and they didn't know better. They were just playing adults because that's what we all heard each Sunday since, God, forever. But it got pretty bad and I believed them. I had one friend, though. Jonathan didn't think I was really gay because at that point I had gotten good at hiding it, but one day I accidently walked into his room after we had gone swimming and I admit I stared. He got really pissed off and he chased me through the house." I shuddered, remembering the feeling of the bleach splashing down all around me. Into my mouth, up my nose, and worst of all into my fully open eyes. It burnt and I remember screaming for so long that my voice broke and was hoarse for days after. Then when the darkness hard finally taken over it had never lifted. Trapping me in my own personal hell forever.

"Alec, are you alright?" I quick pulled my head up and realized that I had never finished my story. I cocked my head to where I thought his head was and finished the story as simply as I could.

"He caught me in the bathroom and poured bleach in my eyes. It burned my eyes and I went blind. Permanently…. I didn't tell anyone because I was ashamed of myself but now I realize that I wasn't the one that was wrong but it's too late for anything but karma to touch the son of a gun." After a few minutes of silence I decided to say, "You know I've never told anyone this before."

Magnus shifted forward a little and at first I thought he was just making himself comfortable but then his soft lips were on mine and with a shock I realized that he was kissing me. I slowly closed my eyes so as not to creep him out and I deepened the kiss. He almost naturally slid his hands into mine and interlocked our fingers.

After about a minute he pulled back and said right next to my ear, "I am so sorry Alexander. Please know that you are beautiful as you are and for my sack don't ever change." Then he leaned all the way back into his chair and as crazy as it sounds I felt the loss of closeness tug at my heart. I again thought about how someone might say that I was falling to hard or it was crazy to feel this way about someone you barely knew but this time I didn't give a damn.

Over the next few minutes we talked about fluff and nothing of real importance. At some point in the conversation a I thought Magnus threw a pillow at me but it turned out to be his cat. Magnus described him for me automatically and I felt my heart swell for the 100th time after meeting the magnificent Magnus Bane.

After a while I got up and asked if Magnus could help me to the door. Once I was just outside I turned around and took his hand. I trailed my hand up his arm so I could find his face and once located I kissed him with all I had. That's not saying much because the kiss on the couch 20 minutes ago was my first kiss and it had set the bar pretty high for me. Just as I was about to pull away embarrassed and run off Magnus growled and grabbed my belt loops effectively pulling me closer. I pulled back and leaned over to his ear just like he had and said, "Thanks for the first kiss."

I could hear the shock in his voice when he murmured "First kiss?" I nodded in the direction of the voice and turned and walked away. After a few steps I turned back and knew he was still standing there because I hadn't heard the door shut.

"Same time tomorrow?"

Magnus still sounded dumb-struck when he said, "Ya.."

I again started to walk away, Jacob effectively leading as always when again I stopped and turned around to say, "Thank you Magnus for everything."

After this I really did leave and heard him shut the door after I got to the front of the building. As I walked home for the first time in a long time I heard myself singing.


	3. I Thought I Was The Blind One

**_xxXxx_**

The phone buzzing in my pocket nearly made my heart stop. Was it my mother, or like the 30 times in the last 2 days, was I worrying for nothing. My palms got sweaty and my shoulders tensed. I opened the phone and put it to my ear.

"Hello?" I hated how my voice was so timid. I repeated the hello and tried to bulk it up and sound less like a whimpering child, which if this was my mom then in a way I was.

"Alec, this is your mother." My heart dropped and soared at the same time if that was possible. Magnus sucked in a breath. It was a question and it clearly meant 'Is it her?' I nodded my head and I heard the sofa groan as his sat up from his lounging.

"Hey mom. How is everything?" Again with this damn timid crap. My face grew hot and I hated how she made me feel and how she reminded me so much of my old life. My life as a whispering idiot, who never spoke up for myself. My life when my face was constantly a tomato. My life when I never opened my eyes for 3 months straight.

"Good , good. Now Alec I'm having a formal dinner and I would love it if you would attend." I pulled in a shaky breath and thought about if I could actually get through a dinner with my mother. Normally I would make up and excuse and ask Izzy or Jace to cover. But "I'm not afraid anymore" sang different harmonies in my head over and over again. I would get through this .. just maybe with a little help …

"Oh that sounds amazing. Would I be able to bring someone along?" Magnus sucked in a breath and started murmuring things like "Oh no you don't have to" and "It's really ok Alec". But I held my finger up in a silencing gesture and the sound of Magnus rumbling laugh started to fill the apartment.

"Yes Alec that's acceptable. Just show up at Jace's place at 7:00 sharp. Oh and do wear something nice Alec I would hate for you to be underdressed and embarrass yourself." I opened my mouth to reply but the beep that meant she had hung up made me shut my mouth. Oh ya I would embarrass myself not my pretentious over bearing mother. I slowly shook my head and a grin spread over my mouth at what I was about to do.

I stood up and slowly walked up to where I knew Magnus was. I opened my eyes and sat down Indian style in front of him.

"Magnus Bane, would you go to a fancy smancy annoying party with my mother and her high class tea chugging friends?" I mimicked sipping tea with my pinkie stretched ridiculously far out and I said the last part with a really bad English accent.

"Why Alexander, I do believe that is called a .. hmmm … a date. Yes that's it. So Alexander are you asking me out?" I heard the smirk in every word and I giggled at the over dramatic question. That was Magnus and even though I knew I was blushing fiercely, I didn't care.

"Yes I guess that would be a date. So my question stands. Will you go to my Mom's party also known as a … hmm what's the word … oh yes a date. Will you go on a date with me?"

"It's about damn well time." A huge smile spilled onto my face and as I leaned in for a hug I breathed in the smell that was uniquely Magnus. Soft woody cologne and matches. My smile grew even wider as I closed my eyes.

I left Magnus to get ready around 12 and showed up 6 hours later. I had picked out a plain white v-neck and fitted dress pants but Magnus just tutted when I walked through the door and he murmered "Oh no no." I went to sit down on the coach but Magnus grabbed my hand and dragged me out of the familiar living room. I stiffened automatically at being somewhere new but when Mags started talking with so much energy I almost instantly relaxed,

"I think you do look gorgeous Alexander but I think I have something that will just be the cherry on top." I knew Magnus only called me by my full name when he was either really seriuse or really happy. Since I could feel his slight hopping through his hand I guessed he was really happy. He let go of my hand and took 4 steps and then walked back. He grabbed my hand and opened it. I felt the cool fabric and turned my head up toward him. I opened my eyes and tried to convey the best questioning look possible but I wasn't sure if it was curious or creeper.

"It's a navy blazer that should come to about your elbows and your waist. It has white stitching and white accents on the pockets and the lining. No glitter I promise." I smiled at the last part. He probably never wore it because of its lack of shine appeal but to me it sounded acceptable. My mother would probably have a mild case of cardiac arrest at me wearing color and a full blown heart attack at Magnus.

I threw on the jacket and it was cold against my skin. Magnus gave an appreciating "yes that will work." I couldn't see his face but I wanted to so bad. I started cursing my cage of blackness but he pulled me back to the present with "I know what you're doing and you need to stop." I was startled. Am I that transparent? I didn't know what to do but let my mouth hang open useless and attempt to make some noise.

"You were brooding. You always get this stony look over your face and you instantly close your eyes. You start to shake your head about 15 seconds later and you mumble. At first I thought you were just thinking but you always do it at times when I get expressive or that one time we walked to the hot dog stand and I spilled ketchup all over the guy and we had to run away. It just now all made sense and you can't get like that Alexander."

I didn't know what to say. No one had noticed me enough to even mention this before. I felt a surge of something fill my chest and it overwhelmed my heart. All I could do was reach in front of me and give Magnus a huge hug. "Thank you," I whispered into his shirt. I felt the sand texture of glitter on my hands and I honestly giggled as I tried to guess what he was wearing.

"So what is the Magnificent Mags wearing to this fine occasion?"

"Umm a black dinner jacket with a purple lining that sparkles slightly and a purple shirt that's just cotton and plain black pants. No makeup and no spikey hair." I thought my smile couldn't get any bigger but somehow my face managed it. He had obviously dressed down for me and I didn't know how to thank him but I knew I had to. What he was doing was amazingly sweet and I thought through everything Magnus would like and suddenly it hit me but I would have to keep it a secret for it to fully work out.

"Amazing as always." I felt his breath suck in and I was almost sure he was smiling.

"Come on lets blow this popsicle stand." I looked questioningly in his direction at the phrase "Blow this popsicle stand" but he just said, "What it's a classic. I personally love that expression."

"No, no I agree it's very vintage. I heard from Izzy that vintage is back in." I had no idea if this information was true or not but my sister was usually right so I decided to throw it in there.

"Your sister, for once seems to be correct. Do you think she'll bring that one kid umm what's his name … Seth." I laughed as I felt the night air blow on my face. Even though it was only mid-September the air still had a chill that bit my cheeks.

"It's Simon and can we walk? I know the way to Jace's apartment but I couldn't give you directions except for step numbers and I doubt that would be helpful." I blushed and tightened my hold on Jacob's leash in embarrassment.

"Do you think he could lead us both?" I was confused by what he meant. Why would he need leading?

"I'm confused sorry."

"Don't be sorry. I didn't explain myself very well. What I meant is do you think you could help me walk to Jace's house like you do. I'll close my eyes and not open them until we get there. How you get through life intrigues me and ... I probably sound crazy but I want to feel the world like you do." Again my mouth hung open at how sweet Magnus was. Everyone wanted to talk about how hard the world was for me but they never had asked to do as Magnus just had.

"I think that would be amazing," I laughed lightly, "We might be late to the party though."

"Alec have you ever heard of fashionably late, well I believe in being fashionably late. Consider it vintage." I laughed again at him noticing my horrible attempt at a fashion conversation

"Fine. Close your eyes and grab my hand." I knew how many people must be staring but at this point I didn't care.

We started walking and I told Magnus to count his steps. It took me about 135 steps so I told Magnus to shoot for 128 since his strides should be slightly longer since he was taller.

After about 15 minutes Magnus was beginning to get used to it. In the beginning he took each step very tentatively and would shudder when he heard a car wiz by. He also stumbled a lot. But after some helpful hints he was more relaxed. We talked quietly about nothing important, just sharing in the comfort of each other's presence.

I stopped at the front of Jace's door and Magnus kept walking. Only my hand interlocked with his kept him from running head first into what I knew was his apartment door.

"You can open your eyes now." I whispered. Magnus gasped once he opened his eyes and saw where we were.

"Your amazing… So this is where Mr. Baywatch lives… figures." I started laughing so hard that I had to let go of Magnus's hand and I nearly fell onto the floor.

"Mr. Baywatch? Though it is fitting please refrain from calling him that in front of my mother." I wiped tears away from my eyes and my stomach hurt. I felt a whoosh of air and I was assaulted with the smell of Dior Addict perfume. I knew it as I remembered my favorite book. Distant and faded but still there.

"Hello mother." I turned as close to where I thought the smell was and nodded my head.

"Hello alexander, dear please open your eyes. You know it makes other people uncomfortable and I have some very important people here tonight." Even her voice was a fake smile. My mother was the premium business woman. She had built herself and her marketing firm. I loved her I just wish we could go back way back to before everything, back to our little house in Brooklyn. But that's not possible. So now I had to make it through a 3 hour party but Magnus's steady hand on my back both calmed me and made butterflies appear in my stomach

"Of course mother." I slowly opened my eyes and yearned to be back in Magnus's apartment. Free of the pressure to be normal and to not "creep people out." Magnus didn't care whether my eyes were closed or open. Magnus didn't care if I didn't look at him directly when I did have my eyes open. Magnus didn't care. Magnus once said after I had thanked him for not caring, "Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind. Dr. Suess said that and you should learn from it." I just nodded and joked about how he sounded like my grandpa. Magnus had laughed to but now I see ..

Magnus does matter to me.

"Very good Alexander. Oh and you look very nice." The door swung out wider and I heard the door creak. She hadn't even asked Magnus's name or even acknowledged him. All my disappointment I had built up over the years suddenly hit me at one time.

"This is Magnus, my boyfriend. Just thought you should know." I put as much venom behind my words as possible and they almost came out as a hiss. Magnus's grip on my back tightened and my mom sucked in a humongous breath.

"Well Alec-"

"Nice seeing you mom." I grabbed Magnus's hand from where it rested in the small of my back and half dragged him into Jace's apartment.

"Boyfriend huh .." I could here the smirk in Magnus's deep voice.

"It's cool if you just wanted to be friends I just, I don't know," suddenly deflated I had no idea why I told my Mom Magnus was my boyfriend. "I just had to, I don't know, make her pay for ignoring you I guess. You should never be ignored Mags" I shrugged my shoulders and turned to face Magnus, to breath in his calming smell and just get away from the world if only for a second.

"Alexander lightwood I have waited exactly 2 weeks 3 days and 21 hours to hear you say those words."

"Magnus Bane I have waited exactly 2 weeks 3 days and 21 hours to say those words." I smiled completely relaxed and felt movement behind my back. I snapped around only to be greeted with Jace's Hollister cologne.

"Hey Jace. Clary here?" The perky red head and Jace had been attached at the hip since they started dating a month ago. I could tell they loved each other because when they talked everything was honest. Jace had always been kind of a player and to hear how everything he said to Clary was true and not just his bedroom talk showed just how much he cared about her.

"Yeah I'm here. How's it going Alec. Oh Magnus … What are you doing here?" Clary was confused and I could imagine her tiny face with her strawberry eyebrows drawn together in confusion. I had never seen Clary in person but Jace talked about her enough to help me get a pretty damn good picture.

"It's going pretty good Clary. Thanks for asking." I took a breath at the bomb I was about to drop. But Magnus got the words out first,

"Alec here invited me." I could almost see his self-assured face he was wearing. His eyebrow was probably raised and a chesire cat grin probably took up his whole face.

"Oh … That's fun." Clary was stuttering. She never did this and I almost laughed. Was it that big of a shock were I had been nearly every day after my 9-5 job at Guitar Center. I always showed up after with a milkshake from Lola's and there was only one Lola's in town and it was literally a block from Magnus's apartment. I thought they would have put two and two together but apparently not.

I blushed furiously but I managed to get out, "We are you know .. together." I knew Magnus was probably beaming proudly like a cat with a fat mouse but all he did was slowly reach down and grab my hand to squeeze it reassuringly.

"Thank god. I love you Alec but I seriously was about to sign you up for Eharmony." Izzy's voice called from my right. I cocked my head and even though I was blushing I tried to throw a venomous stare but I'm pretty sure it looked more like a kicked puppy.

"Thanks Iz compassionate and carrying as always." Clary and Jace sucked in a surprised breath and I got even more confused at the whole situation. What was going on?

"Well well well. Alec apparently got a friend and a sense of humor."

Jace's sarcastic tone made the situation feel more normal but still the silence that followed made me want to jump out of my skin. I didn't like silence because I always felt left out. As if reading my mind Magnus lowered his head to my ear,

"Your sister is looking at Jace and mouthing "Don't be rude he is just happy and that's no reason to make him feel bad about it." Clary looks like a deer in headlights but that's not abnormal for her and Jace is just looking at Clary lovingly which honestly has me wanting to puke all over Mr. Baywatch's black motorcycle jacket which is kinda tacky and looks like he is trying too hard in my opinion but what do I know? Want to go somewhere else?"

I laughed again at Jace's appointed nickname and nodded my head. Magnus straightened and I turned myself around to face him.

"My mother always screws with the furniture for a party's feng shui or something like that. Do you think you could help me to a couch?" I whispered to Magnus.

"Oh course Alec." Magnus tightened the grip on my hand as he led me and Jacob over to a couch. It felt like Jaces white cotton one with the black stitching that I loved. It was smaller but the love seat was extremely fluffy and always had a billion pillows on it and tonight was no exception. I sank gratefully into the mound of cushions and throw pillows and murmured my thanks to Magnus.

"Thanks also for what you did back there." I really hope he likes the present I have planned for him later because he deserved something amazing. Magnus had thought of me when everyone else had forgotten about me and my problem, and he did in a way that wasn't condescending or made me feel weak, which was a miracle onto itself. I still didn't want to be stuck in the dark but I thought that maybe I would be able to handle it a little better with Magnus by my side if he kept that up.

"It's no trouble Alexander, really. I kinda got mad that they felt that it was okay to have conversations behind your back in away just because you couldn't see them. I sincerely hope they don't do that a lot."

"I think they probably do it a lot more than I would like."

"Well that's a damn shame." I could feel the sadness in Magnus's voice but I also felt someone sit down in front of me.

"Hello." I didn't say it as a question. There was someone there and I knew it but as usual the lady started on the abused puppy train.

"Hi Alexander it's Aline, your cousin. I'm sitting right in front of you." She said everything very slowly as if I was illiterate and blind. I felt Magnus stiffen at the same time I did. I couldn't help it. I started laughing ridiculously hard for the 2nd time that night. After about 30 seconds later Aline scoffed and left. Approximately 2 seconds later Magnus joined in with his thunder. Deep and comforting, his laughter passed through me and made me feel at home even with all the mass of strangers around me.

"I'm sorry it's just-"

"Oh I know. I almost died trying not to laugh at her. At least she's related to you. I don't have an excuse to be rude to her.I almost half expected her to break into pig latin or Mandarin so you could understand her better. Though I cant decide which is worse. Her slutty dress and fuck me heels or her amazing literary skills."

"She's Aline." There was no more to it. She had treated everybody like that for ages it's just I got the worst of it because of my disability.

Now I needed to do it now because in the perfection of the moment I had to thank him.

"Do you wanna get out of here?" Magnus turned more towards me and his long willowy legs brushed up against mine causing my stomach to jump.

"Yes I do but what about your mother she –"

"Screw my mother. I'm tired of being here only to prove she's charitable."

"I'm not objecting." The couch shifted and Magnus stood up. His hand which had been twisted up with mine now pulled me to my feet. Jacob stood up beside my leg and handed me his leash from the floor.

Without a word to anyone we left. I asked Magnus to make a detour to my apartment which was the one right above Jace's. I entered quickly leaving Magnus to ogle my living area and grabbed my fraying guitar case and didn't answer any of Magnus's question's on the way to his apartment.

Once we were outside his door Magnus stopped me and asked, "What the hell are you doing?"

"Don't worry darling. It's only a surprise present." Then with a grin that I knew probably looked crazy I walked into his apartment.

**_xxXxx_**

**Oh snap! So what do y'all think his big gift is? I don't know … hmm. Lmao thanks for reading this ridiculously long chapter. Should be updated by the end of tomorrow. Bai lovely Readers & Reviewers!**

**~L.C**


	4. Thought You Should Know

**_xxXxx_**

What the hell is Alec doing? He had a cello bog, maybe, and a crazy smile. He looked like a kid who's had too much sugar but hadn't been caught sneaking the cookies. I was slightly worried about my boyfriend.

I nearly squealed out loud just at the thought of the word boyfriend associated with Alexander. It was such an amazing and scary idea. What if I screwed this up?

But I couldn't think about that now. Alec was already in the middle of my living room and slowly unzipping the case. He pulled out a guitar and dropped Jacob's leash. As usual the dog walked beside  
Alec till he sat down on a barstool in the middle of my living room. His face was beautiful, again, as usual and his smile was radiant. A light blush played over his crème colored cheeks and suddenly he stood up and turned to face my direction. I still was standing in the door way, still confused at what exactly he was doing. Alec suddenly struck an extremely provocative pose and beckoned me with his index finger.

I burst out laughing and shut the door. I made my way to the middle of the room and went to give Alec a hug but he merely grabbed my hand and turned me to the other side of the room where the coaches and the entry way to the kitchen were.

"Sit. I have a present." Shaking my head, I slowly made my way over to my favorite zebra print coach. I slowly sat on the coach and stared in wonder at the sight before me.

Alec was slowly strumming on a faded mahogany guitar. His eyes were closed but you could tell he was focused. His fingers slowly moved up and down the neck and I couldn't help but stare. It was so amazing and the sound was so beautiful it made my heart hurt. Then he began to sing.

My heart stopped at the small voice that began to creep out of the blue eyed boy in front of me. It was beautiful and sad and so Alec it wasn't even funny. His shoulders were more relaxed than I had ever seen them and he looked so at home behind the faded piece of wood. The words flowed out of him and I realized with a laugh what song he was singing.

"_I've seen sad dark times. _

_And I have waited for the sun to rise._

_I've seen sad dark times_

_And waited for the rain_

_All I know is whenever I am far from home_

_There are nights when words seem out of place." _Ron Pope was one of my favorite singers and to think he sang a song from one of my favorite singers for me was so sweet. My heart nearly exploded and a huge smile played over his face. My breathing cached as a sexy rasp entered his voice as he tried to hit a higher and longer note. I started muttering my "Go slow" mantra but .. he was my boyfriend. No! I needed to be patient. I could wait. I would wait.  
As Alec strummed the last cord he opened his pale blue eyes and a single tear made a crystal track down his cheeks. He quickly raised his hand to wipe it away and shut his eyes again. He turned away from my direction and I felt a jolt of pain as I looked at his skinny frame sitting in the shadows of my dark living room. I wanted to go over, wrap him up and protect him from the pain of his own mind, but I knew he would just get mad and feel like I thought he was weak. Only the exact opposite was true. Alexander was so strong, but he was his own worst enemy and I felt broken because I couldn't figure out how to help him.

Alec sucked in a breath and muttered, "sorry." I shook my head and got up. I slowly walked over to him, unsure what exactly I was going to do. Once I got to him I just put my hand on his shoulder. I felt the muscles contract as he slowly turned to face me.

"So .. did you like it. I'm sorry it wasn't really a present. It's just I didn't have time and-"

"Alexander shut up." A small smile played over my lips. We were going to have to make that a catch phrase. "That was so beautiful and I couldn't imagine anything that you could have bought me that would have topped that." I hesitantly brushed his hair back, not trusting myself.

"I'm not going to break Magnus." Alec said with a small frown. He had no idea.

"I never thought you would. I just don't want us to break." My voice was too quiet. He couldn't have heard me. I shut my eyes but opened them suddenly as Alec's soft lips brushed my cheek.

"Damn it! I missed." I started laughing ridiculously hard at the shy smile that had trickled onto Alec's delicate but powerful features. That's it. Forgetting my slogan for the last 2 weeks I said,

"My turn. I think I'll have better aim though." Alec giggled and I slowly leaned down closing the small distance between us. His lips were slightly chapped but extremely warm. I smiled against his mouth.

Alec slowly slid his hands to my hips. Suddenly I shuddered as he traced small circles with his thumbs on the exposed skin between my untucked white button up and my dress pants. Alec pulled away and started muttering apologies again.

"ugh you are so thick." I snatched his mouth again and murmured in between kisses, "Don't you dare be sorry."

Alec smiled and said slightly out of breath, "Sorry," before kissing me again.


	5. I Think I Have Better Aim

**Hai my lovely Readers & Reviewers! I hope I get at least a few Aww's and Giddy Fangirl Squeals after this extremely fluffy chapter. OH! Me and Sam have decided to also turn this into a .. open question type of thingie I guess. Any questions about blindness or how the blind get around everyday life can either be posted in a review and answered here or PM to us and we will get back to you ASAP. Hope to hear a few questions! As always enjoy! : )**

~L.C

**_xxXxx_**

What the hell is Alec doing? He had a cello bog, maybe, and a crazy smile. He looked like a kid who's had too much sugar but hadn't been caught sneaking the cookies. I was slightly worried about my boyfriend.

I nearly squealed out loud just at the thought of the word boyfriend associated with Alexander. It was such an amazing and scary idea. What if I screwed this up?

But I couldn't think about that now. Alec was already in the middle of my living room and slowly unzipping the case. He pulled out a guitar and dropped Jacob's leash. As usual the dog walked beside  
Alec till he sat down on a barstool in the middle of my living room. His face was beautiful, again, as usual and his smile was radiant. A light blush played over his crème colored cheeks and suddenly he stood up and turned to face my direction. I still was standing in the door way, still confused at what exactly he was doing. Alec suddenly struck an extremely provocative pose and beckoned me with his index finger.

I burst out laughing and shut the door. I made my way to the middle of the room and went to give Alec a hug but he merely grabbed my hand and turned me to the other side of the room where the coaches and the entry way to the kitchen were.

"Sit. I have a present." Shaking my head, I slowly made my way over to my favorite zebra print coach. I slowly sat on the coach and stared in wonder at the sight before me.

Alec was slowly strumming on a faded mahogany guitar. His eyes were closed but you could tell he was focused. His fingers slowly moved up and down the neck and I couldn't help but stare. It was so amazing and the sound was so beautiful it made my heart hurt. Then he began to sing.

My heart stopped at the small voice that began to creep out of the blue eyed boy in front of me. It was beautiful and sad and so Alec it wasn't even funny. His shoulders were more relaxed than I had ever seen them and he looked so at home behind the faded piece of wood. The words flowed out of him and I realized with a laugh what song he was singing.

"_I've seen sad dark times. _

_And I have waited for the sun to rise._

_I've seen sad dark times_

_And waited for the rain_

_All I know is whenever I am far from home_

_There are nights when words seem out of place." _Ron Pope was one of my favorite singers and to think he sang a song from one of my favorite singers for me was so sweet. My heart nearly exploded and a huge smile played over his face. My breathing cached as a sexy rasp entered his voice as he tried to hit a higher and longer note. I started muttering my "Go slow" mantra but .. he was my boyfriend. No! I needed to be patient. I could wait. I would wait.  
As Alec strummed the last cord he opened his pale blue eyes and a single tear made a crystal track down his cheeks. He quickly raised his hand to wipe it away and shut his eyes again. He turned away from my direction and I felt a jolt of pain as I looked at his skinny frame sitting in the shadows of my dark living room. I wanted to go over, wrap him up and protect him from the pain of his own mind, but I knew he would just get mad and feel like I thought he was weak. Only the exact opposite was true. Alexander was so strong, but he was his own worst enemy and I felt broken because I couldn't figure out how to help him.

Alec sucked in a breath and muttered, "sorry." I shook my head and got up. I slowly walked over to him, unsure what exactly I was going to do. Once I got to him I just put my hand on his shoulder. I felt the muscles contract as he slowly turned to face me.

"So .. did you like it. I'm sorry it wasn't really a present. It's just I didn't have time and-"

"Alexander shut up." A small smile played over my lips. We were going to have to make that a catch phrase. "That was so beautiful and I couldn't imagine anything that you could have bought me that would have topped that." I hesitantly brushed his hair back, not trusting myself.

"I'm not going to break Magnus." Alec said with a small frown. He had no idea.

"I never thought you would. I just don't want us to break." My voice was too quiet. He couldn't have heard me. I shut my eyes but opened them suddenly as Alec's soft lips brushed my cheek.

"Damn it! I missed." I started laughing ridiculously hard at the shy smile that had trickled onto Alec's delicate but powerful features. That's it. Forgetting my slogan for the last 2 weeks I said,

"My turn. I think I'll have better aim though." Alec giggled and I slowly leaned down closing the small distance between us. His lips were slightly chapped but extremely warm. I smiled against his mouth.

Alec slowly slid his hands to my hips. Suddenly I shuddered as he traced small circles with his thumbs on the exposed skin between my untucked purple button up and my dress pants. Alec pulled away and started muttering apologies again.

"ugh you are so thick." I snatched his mouth again and murmured in between kisses, "Don't you dare be sorry."

Alec smiled and said slightly out of breath, "Sorry," before kissing me again.


	6. Maybe I Am A God

**Hai y'all sorry for the long ass wait time. Life's been hard lately but I'm back now and you can expect more regular updates hopefully from here on out. I got asked 2 questions that I thought were important so I decided to answer them here.**

**1~ How old are Alec and Magnus in this? Alec is 22 and Magnus is 24. (They have to be old enough to drink lmao)**

**2~ How do blind people deal with sexual relationships? You'll find out … eventually.**

**On that interesting note. Happy trails my lovely Readers & Reviewers!**

**~L.C**

**_xxXxx_**

I had 118 steps back to my apartment but I wasn't in any rush. It had to be around 12:45 o'clock at night and I was still meandering around New York. It wasn't my finest moment of intellectual prowess but damn it! I needed to think.

I had left Magnus's at around 10:30 with a lot of lingering tender kisses on abused, slightly chapped lips and hushed promises of seeing each other tomorrow. It was amazing and I felt honestly and truly happy for once. I had always felt happier around Magnus than I had since the accident but I always felt remorse that I couldn't see his ridiculously sparkly outfits or see his smile. When I kissed him I didn't need to see any of it. I had felt it and that knowledge wasn't doing wonders for my concentration on getting home.

54 steps left. I finally had gotten into the rhythm and monotony of _step count step _and I wasn't straining to remember the directions anymore. The next 25 steps were the worst. I didn't exactly live in the worst part of town but it wasn't smart to be out here alone at such a late time. The guitar case on my back started beating against my thighs and Jacob had to jog to keep up with my hurried pace. Only 29 more steps to the front door and 18 more to my tiny home.

I was being careless when I smacked into the back of someone. We tumbled to the rough concrete and my guitar made a gut wrenching sound. At the least I had knocked it out of tune and the worst I had possibly screwed with the actual instrument. I started mumbling apologies as I got up but a hand tugged at my shirt back down to the concrete.

"Oh ill make you sorry. What the fuck do you think you're doing knocking me down." The man had to be taller than me because now that we were standing I had to stand on my tiptoes to keep up with his hand on my shirt. My brain was screaming trying to process everything. Usually they don't get so mad what was going on. His voice had a slight accent not exactly New York but not exactly anything else. Suddenly my thoughts were scrambled as the man roughly shook me. "LOOK AT ME!" He screamed in my ear and all I could do was mumble out an "I can't" His breath definitely was tinted with alcohol, cigarettes and something spicier than both.

"What the fuck do you mean you can't? " He shook me again then slowly started dragging me back. I screamed for all I was worth but a dirt caked hand covered my mouth in seconds. "No funny business alright I want to handle you myself with no interruptions." My brain was slowly realizing that I wasn't going to get off with a few pushes and shoves. I had to do something but what?

"Jacob aiutami" My voice came out as a cracked whisper but my best friend loyal as ever jumped in at the small word in Italian. I felt a rush of warmth pass my and the man let out a hoarse cry. I tried to wiggle out of his grasp but his fist met my cheek and i was knocked to the ground. A whimper erupted from a few feet away and i felt my heart wrench. I had to move.

"Jacob molto" I started to run. My face ached but i kept moving my feet i only had 21 steps left to the door. At around 5 I fell to the ground after being tackled. I turned up to face whoever was on me but i had a pretty good guess. I swung and felt a satisfied when i connected. The whoosh of alcohol and cigarettes assured me it was the same man like a signature. Before i had time to get another good blow in a dirt caked hand connected with first my face and then my stomach in a repetition of rib cracking punches. I wasn't going to just sit here so i kicked my legs up landing a square kick in his nether regions but it did as much to anger him as it did to impede him. In a spare moment between the punches that followed I realized how eerily similar this was to when I was introduced to the darkness. I almost laughed at how it seemd my life planned to repeat itself. My old history teacher used to say about how the only differences between gods and humans was the fact that gods were unoriginal and their history always repeated. Maybe i was really the god MAgnus had made me out to be.

Exactly like last time i was ridiculously close to help but unable to get it. Like last time i was just laying here unable to do anything. Like last time my attacker ran away first.

"Ha not so big now you stupid motherfucker. Watch were your going next time." I heard the reseeding foot steps and tried to breath in. I definitely had a few fractured rips but what was wrong deeper inside me.. i had no idea. I needed to get to Jace .. but how?

Slowly i dragged my bloodied and broken body off the sidewalk and hobbled the last 5 steps to the front door. The next 18 steps were painful but I kept walking. Jace would help. Jace would know what to do. He always did.

The kncok on the door sounded like a gun shot to my overly sensitive ears and i cowered from the sound. God when had i become such a sniveling idiot. I wasn't going to stand here and shy from a knock I created. I was going to be fine. I had to be fine.

The door swung out from my fingers and I stumbled into Jace on the other sid of the doorway.

"Dear god Alec what happened? Wheres Jacob?" The concern on Jace's voice was evident and i could almost imagine his beautiful features twisted into a pained look.

"I was attacked. I don't know he should have followed me. I'm fine really I am." Then the clouds in my brain closed off everything. I couldn't feel, smell, or taste anything but blood and I collapsed to the floor.


	7. All I'm Asking Is Why

**Hai y'all sorry I let you hang forever… ok I'm not really sorry. I'm warning you now that this will be EXTREMLY LIKE REALLY REALLY rough but again, enjoy and happy trails my Readers & Reviewers!**

***This is written from Izzy's POV***

**~L.C**

**_xxXxx_**

"Jace damn it stop pacing!" The clock read 3:00 am. We had been at the hospital for over 24 hrs and emotions were running high. My hair was up in a messy bun and Jace was rocking the homeless grandpa look in ripped up jeans and a shirt with some stain on it. Clary had brought him clean clothes but he still hadn't changed. My Victoria Secret sweats were a spot of black in gold in the lifeless hospital but I felt so uncomfortable and all I wanted was a shower. Suddenly a thought crossed my mind, "Did you call the vets? Oh! Did you call Magnus?"

Jace looked like a monkey with his head tipped to the side and a confused look on his face. "Magnus who exactly?" God he was really thick sometimes. He knew Alec was gay but somehow he still couldn't put two and two together and get four.

"Seriously Jace? Maybe you were too busy staring at your girlfriends ass these last 3 weeks to not notice our brother leaving every day and maybe you were too drunk last night to not notice our brother walking in with a very sparkly man in tow. Maybe Jace you just haven't paid attention to Alec in a long time." I clapped a hand over my mouth and looked down swiftly at the yellowing tiles. I shouldn't have said that. We were all confused and worried but I shouldn't have taken it out on Jace. "I'm sorry." It was a whisper barely audible over the hum of the cheap air conditioner that had the room chilled to arctic proportions.

"Don't be… It's true. But you're not any better. We all forgot about him. He just … blends to damn well. He always has." Jace ran a hand through his golden locks, a gesture that left women in pools at his feet was oddly sad right now. He looked so broken as he slowly shifted to his gaze to our bruised and battered brother on the crisp white hospital sheets. Alec's ebony locks were plastered to his forehead and half of his face was covered in long cuts and bruises. How anyone could hurt him for no apparent reason was beyond me, he was really defenseless in this big bad world.

"To answer your question. Yes I called the vet's office. Jacob's doing better but they aren't sure. He's got a broken leg, he's lost a lot of blood and his hips are completely shattered. They said it would be expensive to fix him if he lasts another day," I opened my mouth to insert that we would do whatever and pay whatever because if Jacob died I didn't want to think what would happen to Alec, "Yes I told them that price isn't a problem. I'm not a complete ass hat. How do I call Magnu-what ever?"

"It's Magnus and ask Clary. He is her shrink." A flash of recognition crossed Jace's sleep deprived features and I saw the gears start to click into place.

"That Magnus?! Why is my brother hanging around with that Magnus?" And the gears had stopped obviously.

"Because they are dating! Jace god you really are thick!" Jace's head snapped toward me and my neck hurt just watching him.

"What?" His face looked incredulous but under all of it I saw the hurt flash across his strong features.

"They're dating Jace. Mom told me.. You didn't see it? They were practically drooling over eachother." It had been beautiful. Alec never let Magnus's hand go and what was with the whispering? The jokes? Hell all the smiling had been unusual especially during a party? Magnus had definatly had an effect on my brother and I was liking it.

"Well I'm sorry. I was to drunk to notice." The sarcasm would have fooled anyone else but I saw the sadness in his golden eyes. Alec made a low moaning sound from the bed and I nearly ran over to him, hoping up from the uncomfortable wooden chair, but he didn't move or make another sound. I was so focused on Alec that I almost didn't even hear Jace say, "Why wouldn't he tell me."

I turned not letting go of my hold on the bed and said, "Jace your not exactly the easiest person to talk to. Besides Alec always been … confined. He didn't tell me either."

"but I'm his brother. I'm his bestfriend he could tell me anything. Shit he could ask me to go and help him bury a body and I would tell him give me 5 minutes I need to go buy a shovel from home depo. Why wouldn't he tell me." He ran his hands down his face and sat down in the chair I had been calling my throne for the last 6 hrs. "Why is all I'm saying. Why is my brother in some hospital with brocken ribs a concussion a collapsed lung and his face fucked up. Why isn't he confiding in me. Why?"

"Jace I just don't know. I'm sorry but I don't know." I grabbed his hand and pulled him up. I wrapped my arms around him and gave him the most comforting hug I could manage. I think it worked because after a little while Jace said,

"Fine I'll call Clary then I'll call Magnus. Check the vets office again Izz." Jace turned away from me and left the room. I pulled out my phone as Alec let out another low moan.

It was going to be a long day.


	8. Oh Alexander

**Hai y'all! I'm gonna keep this short. Enjoy and happy trails my lovely Readers & Reviewers.**

**Kudos by the way if you know what Magnus's car looks like. It's my dream car. Elegant, classic, not fussy, but still has something under the hood. *I'm a car addict ok* **

**~L.C**

**_xxXxx_**

I stared at the photo in my hands and tried not to be sick with worry. Alec hadn't called or came around yesterday. Maybe he regretted us dating and wanted out. Maybe I had scared him off. So many maybe's ran through my head as I switched my stare from the phone to the one remaining photo of my mother. I had told Alec she was gone but I just wasn't ready to tell him the whole truth.

I still remember the phone call. The dial tone had been loud and obnoxious back then not the light trill I had changed it too after I had come back to my senses. The low tone of the police officer saying how sorry he was and that he would do anything to find out who had done this. The sudden darkness enveloping my chest as I realized I wouldn't see her again. I had smashed china, burned photos, and drank. Drank till I could forget everything. Drank till I didn't remember my own name. Drank until the pain faded into nothing, a pure sense of ignorant bliss. But the pain and my name and everything came back so I drank more. Vodka beer wine. I wasn't picky. If it had any alcohol content I would drink it.

Then I had met Camille. A white lighthouse in my sea of black stormy water. She had lost her whole family to a fire and she managed to float a small life raft to the island that was Magnus. We took a little of each other's pain and slowly I came out of my vicious cycle. But old habits die hard and I took up another addiction.

Glitter and hot pants kept most people at bay. Camille never questioned it and I didn't question her man eater attitude. She had moved down to Florida and I hadn't seen or heard from her since.

In some deep dusty part in the back of my head I knew it was to keep people away. Make them not want to get to close but I didn't care. Not until the raven haired angel descended on me at least. I wanted to tell Alec everything. I wanted him to know how every morning I woke up and slowly choked back a sob as I realized my mom wouldn't call today. I wanted to tell him how every day I regretted not going to her funeral. I wanted him to know every part of me because where I was folded I was a lie.

Thinking about my mom, the pain, the drinking, Camille, had my throat suddenly tight and I tried to breath but couldn't seem to get enough oxygen. I quickly grabbed up all the thoughts and put them in a tight little box in the back of my head. Alec had said that it helped him feel better and it worked surprisingly well for me to.

Chairmen Meow let an indignant meow escape his mouth as I nearly flung him across the room when the phone next to me let out a 4 note trill. I snatched at it and hurriedly put it to my ear, hitting my face on the way up.

"Hey Alec. I was worried sick. Wh-"

"Magnus this isn't Alec. This is Jace, his brother" Mr. Baywatch sounded tired and I wondered whether Clary had forgotten what her car looked like again. I rolled my eyes and began to describe Clary's red Honda but Jace cut me off.

"It's not Clary. She's fine, better than fine actually your whole list treatment whatever thing has been helping but forget about that!" Jace sucked in a breath and my heart stopped. "Alec was mugged the night before last. Izzy thought you should know."

I dropped the phone. Not this again. I tried to breath and slowly rocked back on forth on the pink coach that still smelt like Alec. I remembered all the times he was splayed across this couch these last 2 weeks and how badly I had wanted to jump on him and kiss him silly but instead we had talked and talked and talked. Learning more of each other and slowly becoming closer than anyone since her.

"Jace where are you? How is he?" I had a million more questions but I had to be smart about this. A little voice in my head said, "Pull it together Bane! You weren't going to be a little bitch and just cry. You were going to be strong and you are going to be fine. You weren't mugged were you? NO! Alec was and Alec was the one who deserved to cry and shake not you. Are you seriously going to just sit there? MOVE! You want to keep this one or are you going to not go and comfort him and leave him to the wolves. I SAID MOVE!" I shook my whole body and started running around the apartment putting a few days' clothes in a bag and some food. Shutting off lights and putting out food for Charimen I was halfway ready to leave before Jace even got anything out.

"Lenox Hill Hospital. He's alive but pretty beat up. Jacob's all messed up to. Hey I know this is really random but .. How long have you been with my brother?" I stopped in the middle of filling Chairman's water bowl. Was he serious? He was going to be a jerk because I had been dating Alec for what, 2 days?

"2 days I think. Why?" My voice was hard and slightly scary to even my own ears but I didn't care. I finished everything and started to slowly jog out of the apartment.

"Oh it's nothing like that. I don't care that's he's dating you. Actually, I'm happy. Yesterday at the party was the happiest I had seen Alec in God I don't even know how long. Your good for him .. I don't know I just felt betrayed that he didn't tell me but I'm pretty sure he didn't have time considering that he's been under heavy sedatives for the last 2 days but thanks. That helped a lot. So I'll see you soon I guess."

"I'll be there in 5 with coffee because you sound like shit Mr. Baywatch." Alec would have giggled at the nickname and I took comfort in the thought.

"Oh shut up sparkles... Thank you Magnus. See you then." Jace hung up as I started up my white 1960 Oldsmobile Super 88 Convertible and tried to comb through my hair with my fingers. I had no makeup and my hair was its usual soft straight self, Alec would be happy and I took comfort in that thought as well. I had been walking around in just some soccer sweatpants but I had thought the nurse's may have a heart attack if I walked in without my shirt so I had threw on a white v-neck as I had run down the steps of my apartment. Besides this body was only for Alec to see now.

The coffee line was too long. I eventually pushed past some people and smoozed till the attendant was a puddle at my feet. I ran out with 4 cups of coffee and probably broke every single speed limit possible during the 5 minute drive to the hospital.

The attendant working the cheaply painted front desk was too slow. She took forever, running her finger up and down and up again over the list of patients. Just as I was about to scream at her she said in a voice too cheerful for the situation, "Lightwood 234. There are already 2 people in there so tell them no more visitors for me ok?" I gave her a nod to curt to be polite and half ran half Olympic speed walked up the 2 flights of stairs and down the ominous corridor. I pushed the door and nearly slammed into Jace standing directly on the other side.

"Oh there y-" I didn't catch the rest of Isabelle's comment because my eyes had zeroed in on Alec. His face was deformed with swelling and was a nauseating shade of purple. His shoulder was wrapped in bandages and cuts and scrapes covered what little of his body I could see under the paper hospital outfit. To see him out of his holey sweaters was weird enough and I knew that he would have been emabrazed to be in the thin gown only protected by thinner sheets.

"Dear god." Again my throat clenched and I couldn't breathe but it was only for a second. I was going to be fine. The voice started screaming at me and saying things like, "You are being such a wimp. PULL IT TOGETHER BANE! Do you seriously want to cry like a baby in front of these people." I shook my body again and spilt a little coffee on my arm. The burning heat grounded me and I slowly, silently passed out the cups to Isabelle and Jace.

"Who did this and whats wrong with him?" I wanted to start a personal man hunt for the sick bastard who had broken my boyfriend so bad. The outside marks and bruises made my blood boil but my heart was as cold as ice at the thought of what was wrong with Alec where I couldn't see.

"He's gotten a few cracked ribs a lot of bruising and he had some small internal bleeding but they stopped that. He also has a concussion. As for who did this we have no idea and I think that's for the best right now because if I found out… well let's say I would be in jail for man slaughter right now." Jace's voice was eerily calm and I believed every word he said because I would be right beside him.

"What about the dog, Jacob, you said he was beat up too?" Alec would be devastated if his dog died. He would lose his eyes in the world and I doubted he would ever take a replacement.

"Shattered hips and a broken leg. He lost a lot of blood and it's pretty touch and go right now. If he lasts another night he will be alright." Isabelle sounded even worse than Jace if it was possible and she took a big swig of the coffee.

I sucked in a breath and stole another look at Alec. An almost silent, "Oh Alexander," passed my lips on the exhale and I took a seat and grabbed my boyfriend's hand, trying to get comfortable. I was going to be here a while.


	9. Yes Alec We're Gonna Have To Do That

**Hai y'all! Because of the amazing news that the fine piece of Asian ass that was formerly known as first ever Asian male supermodel, Godfrey Gao, now known as the magnificent MAGNUS BANE! HIGH WARLOCK OF BROOKLYN! IS ON A PLANE, that's right, A PLANE TO TORONTO CANADA! *insert fangirl squeals anywhere you like* *SHIT JUST GOT REAL* *On Tuesday there WILL be Malec!* **

**I WILL POST A CHAPTER WITH NO ANGST AND NO SADNESS JUST PURE SICKENINGLY SWEET FLUFF!**

**If you guys want to squeal with me or just plain ass fangirl/boy PM me! I will gladly answer**

**YES MY FRIENDS ITS ALL MALEC AND ITS AAAAALLLLLLL AWESOME! ^_^**

**~A redicoulusly happy and fangirling L.C **

**_xxXxx_**

"Magnus? Why the hell are you wiping my face with.. Is that a baby wipe?" Alec's voice was groggy and I snapped my arm to my side. I had been at the hospital for 3 days and Alec had been coming in and out of consciousness for the last 6 hours. So far this had been the most coherent thing he had said followed closely by "Oh magical unicorn stop liking my face. I don't want to marry the beaver." It wasn't my fault he drooled when he was knocked out with some drugs I wished I could get my hands on.

"I'm sorry darling but you were drooling and it was bugging me." A smile played over Alec's lips and slowly he cracked his eyes open. The beautiful pools of blue made me want to cry. I know it was stupid of me to worry but some small part of me thought I would never see them again. Their deep emotional color reminded me of the lakes in the park I basically lived in during my childhood. They reminded me of endless summers and the pure innocence of childhood. I nearly cried again when I realized that those were my boyfriend's eyes.

"Don't stop … I .. It was nice. It felt really good. I feel so I don't know… Dirty." Alec's face turned the lightest shade of pink and again I wanted to cry. I missed that innocent tint almost as much as his eyes. Almost as if he felt my gaze or maybe he was just more embarrassed by what he had said that I thought, Alec shivered under the crème hospital sheets then laid his head back down on the pillow, closing his eyes. My mind wandered and I smirked. In a second I decided to have a little fun. Whats a cat to do with such a gorgeous mouse. Just sit there? I think not.

I leaned in close to Alec's face and caressed his cheek. It surprised me that I had to dig deep to get my sexy sultry bedroom voice on. Maybe I was losing my touch… but eventually it clicked into place and I purred against his lips, not really kissing him but not really not either, "I can fix that."

The bright scarlet blush was surprisingly rewarding and I leaned back in the chair muttering, "My job here is done." Alec sucked in a breath and I thought for sure he was going to do that adorable stuttering thing but what came out of his mouth made me nearly jump him here and now.

"I would like that." His voice was breathy, kinda tired, and completely sexy. The blush was still there but not as bright as before, a pale pink dusting instead of the flame red. My my my I knew I made the right chose in beautiful blind boys to call my boyfriend.

Getting up in Alec's koolaid again and still with my bedroom voice locked in gear, "We can see about that later." Slowly I brushed my lips against Alec's in a ghost of a kiss, sending shudders down his and my spine. Completely forgetting the wet wipe and letting it drop to the floor I softly, as if his lips were a flower, kissed him again. My voice, clear of anything other than the hurt and worry and confusion and pain of the last couple of days, whispered against his chapped but somehow still soft lips, "I missed you so much." I placed a kiss on his nose. "I was soo fucking worried." A kiss on his forehead now. "It is taking a lot of self-control right now not to jump in that bed and have my way with you." A light as air kiss just to the right of his lips. "But you're hurt and it's been killing me that you're hurt." Another kiss to the left of his lips now. "I was soo sick with worry that I haven't worn makeup or done my hair in 3 days. The nurses must think I'm hideous." Finally a full kiss on his lips. I could feel him smile under me and I knew I was smiling too. "You haven't even asked what my magnificent self is wearing." Now he was giggling and my heart hurt at just how much I had missed that sound.

"You are beautiful Magnus. I .. I know I can't see you and you probably don't believe me but I just know in my bones that you are beautiful inside and out… and what is my beautiful boyfriend wearing?" The word escaped his lips and my eyes nearly fell out of my head. I got that same flying feeling I did when he had asked me out 2 days ago.

"You are seriously overestimating myself-control Alexander. Alas because you asked me so nicely I'm wearing some soccer sweats and a club sweatshirt that I haven't worn since high school." Now the Cheshire cat expression was crossing Alec's expression.

"A club sweatshirt huh… I doubt it was a sport because no offense Mags but you don't strike me as the sweating type. So what did you do to earn a club sweatshirt. Oh! Don't call me Alexander again. You sound like my mother. "

"It was for swim team alright. I was the best freestyle Regis High ever had. Oh and I hope you don't blush like that when your mother talks to you. I might get jealous." If my voice was a little indignant then he was just going to have to deal with it.

"Magnus, shut up." We were really going to have to make that our catch phrase. "You know Mags …"

"Yes Alec."

"We are going to have to do as most disgustingly sweet couples do and trade sweatshirts." That damn blush crept on to his cheeks and I couldn't decide which was cuter. His face or what he had said.

I laughed and replied, truly happy for a second, "Yes Alec we are going to have to do that."

"Mags ugh … would you come up here? It's cold." Alec slowly opened his baby blues and looked directly at me. How I could have said no to that was beyond me so I didn't

"Fine but we have to be careful. You promise me you'll tell me if I hurt you right?"

"I promise. Hey what time is it. I don't care if a nurse comes in but it might be little awkward explaining why you suddenly are in my bed." I slowly picked Alec up in my arms, careful not to jostle any of the wires or cords stuck into or on his skinny body, and moved him to the farthest side of the small bed. He was so light but not unmuscled in my arms. I filed it away to ask later about Alec's workout habits.

"It's close to 3 in the morning." I saw Alec wince as I carefully crept into the bed and I paused halfway in halfway out.

"No I'm fine really. Please come on I'm so cold." He had to have a sexy voice too didn't he! I knew I couldn't resist anything he asked of me… unless it involved removing my glitter fixation. That might not work…. Maybe.

I laid down next to Alec and almost automatically, as if we had been together for years not days, he curled into my side and laid his head on my chest. Yawning and already half asleep Alec mumbled into my faded white sweatshirt, "Sweet dreams Mags."

"Goodnight Darling." I kissed the top of his head and breathed in the scent that was specifically Alexander Lightwood. Sandalwood and just a touch of vanilla. Slowly I drifted off to sleep with though "I could get used to this." singing in Alec's beautiful voice throughout my head.

**_xxXxx_**

I watched Alec and Magnus curled up together and smiled. My brother had found the one. I knew it and you would have to be blind to not see it.

I set the 2 cups of coffee down. One made just the way Alec liked it. A sort of good luck charm that he would wake up to drink it and today I had a feeling that he actually might. The other was Magnus's coffee. You got familiar with someone's coffee habits during times like these and that was definitely the case with Magnus, Jace, and I.

Quietly I pulled a Post-It Note pad out of my bag and a pen and quick jotted down a note.

_Dear Alec and Magnus,_

_You two were too adorable to wake up so I left you coffee. Sniff it out to figure out who's is whose._

_I'll be back at around 2:30 and Jace should be around by noon._

_Don't stop being so in love._

_~Izzy_


	10. Thank You

**Hai y'all. This chapter is kinda an insight into my Magnus. Its not the best *sigh* and im kinda upset with how it turned out :,(**

**Oh. Have you guys ever wandered what happened during the 2 weeks Alec stretched out on Magnus's couch and they talked? Well if you have go check out my new story **_**Couches and Sunlight **_**that should be up starting on the 9****th****.**

_**It's basically 14 chapters about everyday that Magnus's and Alec meet. **_

_**Hope you like that one too **_

_**~ A slightly disappointed in herself L.C & a frustrated Sam**_

_**_xxXxx_**_

Magnus low chuckle woke me up and I pushed my hand into his back and asked, "What's funny." In answer a just warm enough coffee was pushed into my hand.

"Just your sister." I sagged back into the hospital sheets and tried to relax all my stiff muscles. Though I didn't want to even think about moving I still felt .. useless. A floating ember not strong enough to cause a fire but merely just annoying to everyone around and I hated the feeling. For the millionth time I wondered if Magnus was psychic because when he said, "I need a favor," in a husky whisper next to me I, almost too perky, shook my head yes.

"Could you sing?" It was a small meaningless task that wasn't really a purpose but I grabbed on to it and held tightly.

"What do you want me to sing?" My voice was still a little raspy and it wouldn't earn me any street cred on American Idol but I would do it for Magnus. Slowly tentatively I stretched my hand out across the mattress to where he sat on the edge and my hand slowly tentatively encased his. He gave me a quick squeeze and the beauty and sadness of the situation hit me all of a sudden. I was in a hospital after being beat up with a bunch of crap wrong with me. My dog was somewhere where I couldn't be no matter how hard I wanted to be and yet somehow I was just a little bit happy. I was happy because Magnus was here with me. He had kept me warm all night and I just didn't want this dream inside this room to end. I wasn't ready to face the world and all its uncertainties and ass wholes. Sucking in the drug like aroma of Woody Cologne and matches I knew I wanted to stay in this moment forever.

"Anything you want." My mind searched the millions of billions of songs I had memorized during my many hours behind the worn counter at the Guitar Center will costumers wondered around idly not wanting to ask for my help because they thought I would fumble and knock over something or hurt myself. The perfect song hit me and I latched onto it, the lyrics coming back a little slower than usual because of my concussion.

I tentatively started humming testing out the melody to make sure I had the right tune, meanwhile Magnus slowly laid back down next to me facing the ceiling. I had to adjust the lyrics a little bit to fit and sending a silent prayer that he would like my horrible rendition I sung, "_You know I'd fall apart without you. I don't know how you do what you do. Cuz everything that don't make sense about me makes sense when I'm with you."  
_Taking a small breath I began the second verse. "_Like everything that's green boy I need you_." Magnus laughed slightly realizing my adjustment to the lyrics and I paused a moment before continuing with, "_But it's more than one and one makes two. You put aside the math and the logic of it. You gotta know your wanted too." _

I sucked in a bigger breath gathering the courage for the chorus. Magnus could take it on the surface as just a pretty song or something I pulled out of my ass or he could take it deeper, he could take it how I wanted him to take it. I realized I had paused for too long but I didn't try to rush when I did open my mouth to say, "_I wanna wrap you up, wanna kiss your lips. I wanna make you feel wanted. And I wanna call you mine, wanna hold your hand forever and never let your forget it."_

Magnus's slight intake of breath had me wanting so badly to see his face. Watch his eyebrow curl up .. Hell anything would have been better than this torturous blackness. My personal cage had never been such a problem until I had met Magnus and a tiny seed of doubt entered my brain and toke root. Why did Magnus like me? Why did he choose someone with so little in common? Why someone like me? But I couldn't stop now. I had to finish the song.. and plus, I would sound like a clingy insecure girl. The thought nagged at me as I finished the song and the room was silent except for Magnus's and my breathing and the hum of the machines on either side of us.

"Why me?" My voice was tiny. So miniscule I doubted he had heard me and if he had he probably didn't understand.

"What darling? Oh and that was beautiful, really." My hand received another small reassuring squeeze.

"Why me? Why do you like me I guess is what I'm asking." Another sharp intake of breath to my left and then,

"Can I tell you a story first?" I nodded my head before giving a quick "Yes."

"There was once a boy who lived in a bad neighborhood. And this boy had nothing to his name but a couple of tattered outfits, a pair of ugly converse from Walmart, and an edition of fashion vogue, but he didn't need anything more because he had his momma. His momma was his whole world." I feel Magnus's arms move and I guessed he was making a big sweeping gesture and I got the sinking suspicion that I knew who this boy was.

"His momma was the most beautiful women in the world. She had long black hair that she always braided it back and pinned it up in a bun that made her look like an elegant Grecian queen. This boy's momma loved him so much and worked very hard for every night's dinner but sometimes it wasn't enough. Sometimes there was enough and some days there wasn't but the boy and his momma never complained because they had each other. They went like this for a while until the boy, at this point a stupid teenager, started roaming around and slowly he got involved with the wrong people and slowly he learned how to steal and fight and just be a bad person." A shaking and quietly sniffling Magnus made my heart break but I didn't stop his story, I should have, Damn it! I should have stopped him right there and just hugged him but I just lay there.

"Somehow this boys beautiful mama still loved him and she warned him he needed to fix this before he was in too deep. But did he listen to her? No he didn't until it was too late. Coming to his senses he grabbed his momma and all they had and they ran. He asked his momma because he was selfish and so stupid to come with him because he had screwed up and what did she do? She went with him because she loved him very much."

"The boy and his momma got out of the ghetto and they were safe for a long time. The boy, a young man of 18 now, graduated and his momma cheered so loud that she got kicked out of the high school gym. The boy, even a screwed up as he was, got a full scholarship to an amazing college. He couldn't take his momma with him and even though he didn't want to he left her behind. He left her behind and everyday he missed her so much that his heart hurt and everyday he called her before he went to bed and before he left his house for the day. One day his momma didn't answer. The boy worries a little but he goes to class and half way through fashion and the economy when he got a call. He ignored it and was embarrassed by it interrupting the class. When the boy goes home he gets another call. He answers it and he finds out his momma has been shot in the street and that she had died. The police offer says that it was random but the boy knows it's his fault. It's all his fault that he will never get to talk to his momma again. It's all his fault that his momma doesn't get to sing again because oh man could his momma sing beautifully. Like angels strumming the harp. It's all his fault that his momma's dead." Magnus' shoulders were shaking uncontrollably at this point and he had stopped trying to control his sniffles. My cheeks were wet with Magnus's and my tears running together. I had no right to cry but my heart ached for Magnus so I had let one tiny tear fall feeling it mingle before pooling with the drips from Magnus's chin on my forehead. I had nothing to say. I didn't know what to say. I had no way with words and I had no idea what to tell Magnus that wouldn't be horrible and so fake it was ridiculous. Finally I did the only thing I knew how to do. I sang.

_Sorry, I've never told you, all I wanted to say_

_And now it's too late to hold you_

_'Cause you've flown away_

_So far away_

_Never had I imagined_

_Living without your smile_

_Feelin' and knowing you, hear me_

_It keeps me alive, alive_

_And I know you're shining down on me from Heaven_

_Like so many friends we've lost along the way_

_And I know eventually we'll be together_

_One sweet day_

_Eventually I'll see you in Heaven_

_Darling, I never showed you_

_Assumed you'd always be there_

_I, I took your presence for granted_

_But I always cared_

_And I miss the love we shared_

_I know you're shining down on me from Heaven_

_Like so many friends we've lost along the way_

_And I know eventually we'll be together_

_One sweet day_

_Picture a little scene from Heaven_

_Although, the sun will never shine the same_

_I'll always look to a brighter day_

_Yeah, Lord, I know, when I lay me down to sleep_

_You will always listen as I pray_

_And I know you're shining down on me from heaven_

_Like so many friends we've lost along the way_

_And I know eventually we'll be together_

_One sweet day_

_And I know you're shining down on me from Heaven_

_Like so many friends we've lost along the way_

_And I know eventually we'll be together_

_One sweet day_

_Sorry, I never told you_

_All I wanted to say_

My voice drifted off and Magnus's shaking and tears were slower now, more controlled and I rubbed slow circles on the thin fabric of his shirt, letting him feel what he wanted to without my uncomforting gaze. His story was sad and his voice had been so broken as he was telling it that I wanted to whisper things like "it'll be ok" and "Oh Mags it's not your fault." But really who was I to tell Magnus what he was supposed to believe. I didn't know anything. I wasn't god and I couldn't make everything better with the snap of my fingers. Magnus's chest rose underneath me and he whispered in a choked voice,

"Thank you."


	11. Camille Belcourt

I walked out of the hospital's glass double doors smeared with fingerprints from patients past and into the massive parking lot that was littered with various cars of various makes and models. My gorgeous beauty lay in wait for my return in the very far back corner where I had parked last night after returning from a much needed shower, change of clothes, and a brief visit and dinner with Chairman. I had been balancing my commitments between work and between my boyfriend of now 5 days and I had just left a heartwarming and hilarious scene of Jace and Alec discussing the benefits of Jimi Hendrix and why Alec thought _Purple Haze_ was a much better song than Jace's pick of _Voodoo Child. _

The whole conversation went over my head which was quite a feat considering my considerable height of six foot six. The mild banter between the two told me that I needed to go, well, it was that and the fact that I had an appointment in an hour and I still had yet to leave Alec's side. I had bid my goodbyes to a slightly bashful Alec and a smart ass Jace who just couldn't control himself from muttering an unintelligible comment under his breath. Alec must have heard him because a bright blush rose to his cheeks and a second later Jace was clutching his shoulder, an exasperated expression marring his golden good looks.

I had ducked out a second later and I'd let a light hearted laugh escape my mouth as the muffled argument between the brothers drifted to my ears. Now I was starting up my car and settling into the seat and, for the first time in a long time, the past.

The conversation me and Alec had shared, curled in on each other in the tiny hospital bed, was something I needed to think about. The memory was a bitter sweet one. I had shared a piece of myself no one had ever seen before, well, no one but Camille.

Since I was being all self-actualizing and shit I decided to face that little red mark in my past too. Hell, today was going to be a productive day. Turning up P!nk's beautiful voice on my cherry sound system, I turned out of the parking lot and let my mind wander to my previous best friend.

It had been a night like any other in a club in Brooklyn like any other. There was heavy drinking, that I would regret the next morning when I had to get up to go to a lecture, and copious amount of glitter. I remembered how pleased I had been with my outfit that night; the white lace boots had done wonders for my ass. I had just perched said ass on a warm brown leather stool behind a long expanse of mahogany when a sultry voice from somewhere behind me had called, "Darling those boots are doing ridiculous things for your ass. They are simply divine!"

I swiveled on the rotating circle of the cushion to have my gaze filled with intense emerald eyes and swirls of perfect blonde curls. An elegantly pale hand was pushed towards me that had beautifully manicured nails attached to it so I grabbed it in my tanned one and gently pulled the women attached to the hand down on the stool next to mine. She had been wearing a gorgeous bodycon mini that was a pale pink with sheer cut outs of nude lace. She was undoubtedly sexy and after a casual glance around the lounge I could see all the guys practically drooling.

An order for two _Adios Motherfuckers_ and a casual glance at her shoes and I knew we were going to be friends.

"I love your _McQueen's _Hunn. Those are the double buckle flower stud pair from last year's fall collection right?"

Apparently I had been right because she looked up from her cup of the blue concoction that had just been placed in front of the both of us. A look of pleasant surprise graced her slight almost doll like face and the expression light up her entrancing eyes before she gave a delicate nod. She took a sip of her drink before saying, "I'm Camille Belcourt. I can tell we are going to be friends darling."

Now I was the one nodding and taking sips of the sour alcohol. We had then slipped into an effortless conversation on the benefits of the men in the room and before I got too hammered to remember I asked for her phone which she procured from envy worthy crème _Louis Vuitton. _She had called me the next day and we had gone for coffee. By the end of the second encounter we became inseparable.

Over a period of three months Camille slowly broke down the barriers of the ostentatious clothing and the overdone glitter that I had put up to protect the broken and battered person I was inside and I shattered the sexy dresses and always done to perfection curls, until one night, we both bared it all over spiked hot coco.

Coming home from the last day of classes before my last set of finals ever I was a big fat bag of nerves. If I passed all of them I would be graduating in 3 months. I fi failed even one of them, I wouldn't be able to even think of a graduation cap for another 2 years. Needless to say, I was under a lot of stress so when Camille said she would be over by five o'clock I immediately to my cheaply stocked alcohol cabinet. I didn't exactly know what the evening would call for so I just shut the doors again, without locking them, and placed myself very ungraciously on my favorite couch. It was a long tedious hour of trying to memorize Thorton's theory on continual transfer and how it related to my projected case load before the doorbell rang. I jumped up and ran to the front door with its elegant carvings of scrolls and swirls before yanking it open.

"Damn babe, eager much? I know I have that effect on men but I didn't think that my charms worked on you." Her words eased the tension in my neck and shoulders and as a huge grin broke onto my face I pulled her in for a hug.

"Oh shut up. You're a sexy bitch and you know it." Letting her go, I turned back to my apartment, knowing she would follow me in and make herself comfortable. I went back to my textbook and began staring at the now gibberish for only a second before a hand slammed the book shut, nearly hitting me my face in the process. "Oui! What the hell was that? I need to study. I have finals in three days, Camille, and I'm sure as hell not ready for them."

"Oh hush. You'll get a hundred percent on all of them just like all the others. Now don't ignore your best friend and lets go make some hot coco because I'm cold." I just looked at her but after a few seconds of imploring stares from her big green orbs I shook my head in exasperation and got off the couch. Camille had giggled like a school girl and ran off to the kitchen.

A lot of chocolate powder had been spilled in the next hour but we ended up with two delicious cups of steaming heaven which we both quickly agreed on supplementing with a little _marshmallow vodka. _Just to calm the nerves, you know.

Toes to toes, we took up the whole of my extra-large couch. We slipped into an easy conversation as per usual but after a few more cups of spiked coco, it was midnight and we were both slipping up. Camille broke down first. Black tracks of tears poured down her carefully constructed face as she told her story.

Camille had been in an abusive family. Every day she was beaten by her father and was forced to watch her mother and four year old sister be beaten as well. She ran away thirteen times but was always eventually picked up and brought back to the living house of hell. Camille explained how she would have told but her father threatened time and time again to kill Madeline, her baby sister, and her mother so she stayed silent. Taking Madeline's beatings as well as her own and praying consumed her days until one day when Camille was sixteen and Madeline was only twelve, they were called out of school to be told that a fire had ravaged their home, taking their mother and father with it.

Madeline and Camille had been thrown through the system. Foster family after foster family, together they rode the storm, constantly leaning on one and another for support. Well, until they were separated by the cruel hands of fate, never to speak again.

"I just want to know she's alright, you know. I want to see what she made of herself. She always wanted to be a professional dancer. She was good enough too. I- I just don't know." Looking behind me, as if trying to control the crystalline tears, Camille spotted something before giving a hoarse laugh. "Ah shit. It's her birthday too. She'll be eighteen today. How's that for ironic." Now a small sad smile was turning up the corners of her blood red lips but it was a smile that broke your heart just from looking at it.

Feeling the false confidence of alcohol, I slowly told my story as well. The next hour was filled with a lot of sniffling and looks towards heaven, a failed attempt at hiding my own tears, but I got it all out. Tangled up in a hug that, just barely, kept both of our shattered hearts together, we fell asleep on the couch.

The next day I had woken up to a note and a headache. The note had read:

_Dear Magnus,_

_ I know what you're thinking. You're thinking why the hell am I alone. Well darling the answer to that is because I have left. Not just your apartment. I am leaving New York. Last night reminded me of what I really wanted. Not all the expensive gifts and rich lovers. I want my sister back. Please don't try to talk to me. I'll come back when I find her, I promise I will. Just know that I will miss you while I'm away and this isn't a forever thing._

_Sincerely your sexy bitch,  
Camille_

That was two years ago. Now I was a different person and I didn't know exactly if I wanted Camille to come back. The reasonable part of my brain told me that if I was in her situation I would have probably left too, but since when have I ever listened to the reasonable part of my brain? Camille was the past and I didn't like to live in the past.

This was why I was turning into my building's parking spot and walking to my door, leaving all thoughts and worries about Camille behind me. I walked up the treacherous steps and unlocked my door. After placing my purple pea coat in the closet, my legs were attacked by a furry grey and white striped fiend and I happily picked up the Chairman.

"How is his majesty this fine afternoon?" All I got was a content purr and a _mreow_. Setting my cell phone sized cat down on his pillow, I straightened my back only to be face to face with a clock.

"Well shit!" I had thirty minutes till my next client got here.

I ran to my shower. I striped, carelessly throwing my _visit Alec in the hospital _uniform of vibrant pink soccer sweats and a white V-neck from the _Gap _into my zebra print laundry bag, and hopped into the mist of hot water and steam. Coming out 5 minutes later, I was covered in an all-over flush In the name of saving time, I opened the bathroom door and took a quick look around. I only saw Chairman Meow lounging on his pillow so I quick made a break for my bedroom in only my birthday suit, probably scarring the poor kitten for life in the process. After shutting the door, I rummaged through the massive heap of clothes at the floor of my closet.

If only I could snap into them but, alas, no warlock am I.

Deciding on a pair of black leather basic skinny jeans and an electric blue button down, I tugged on the clothes with less finesse than usual. I picked out the metallic silver boots from the first night I had met Alec because they always put me in a good mood and a pair of sparkly socks from _Justice_ and I was ready for my client. He should be here any minute and I perched myself in my usual armchair with its gorgeous black leather cushion and gold lining. After looking in a mirror and making sure I looked my usual sexy self, I waited.

After all that rush and an hour and a half of waiting my client never showed up.

"The bastard." I mumbled bitterly under my breath. He couldn't have called? Honestly the nerve of some people these days.

I decided I needed to get some paperwork done and I had just sat down when I remembered the earphones and twenty dollars that were in my coat pocket. I had meant to give the twenty dollars Jace for thanks for the many cups of coffee he had provide over the last five days and the earphones were Alec's. I had them because he had to take them out to get his cat scan. I really could have waited till tomorrow to give the objects to their respective owners but really what would it hurt to give them back now? All I had to fill the rest of my evening and afternoon was sitcoms and a shitton of tedious paperwork. Besides this way I got to see my blue eyed angel again.

The drive to the hospital was filled with _Bill Withers _and _The Smiths_ and it was blissfully short.

I made the walk to Alec's hospital room in record time as well and just as I turned to walk into his room I caught a glance of blond curls and green eyes.

A sultry voice met my ears a second later saying, "Heya babe. Long time no see, huh."

"Camille what the fuck are you doing here?"

**_xxXxx_**

**Okay so I know I'm a fail but I have been busy with the football season and a lot of other personal matters (scholarships, college, etc., etc.) but what eve's. At least you guys get this little cliffhanger xD I by the way don't own the Smiths or Bill Withers but they are both amazing artists and you should check them out.**

**Speaking of the Smiths. I went and saw the movie for The Perks Of Being A Wallflower and was soo impressed. It really did the book justice in my opinion and that's one of my favorite books ever (besides TMI/TID of course)**

**Anyway I should be updating again soon but if I don't please bear with me. I'm going to try to do a switch off of updating a chapter I've already written and then writing a new one each week until I've updated all my older chapters to my satisfaction. I hope you liked this Magnulishous chapter but there will be A LOT more Malec in the coming chapters so until then ta-ta my lovelies.**

**Happy trails readers & Reviewers**

_**~L.C**_


	12. Living Without The Music

Jace had truly terrible taste in music. Okay not terrible, but after half an hour of a terrifying mix of _One Direction _and _Simple Plan_ I was about ready to poke my utterly useless eyes out.

After commenting on his terrible choice in music, I received an indignant, "Oh and I bet the little pretty princess would rather me play Céline Dion or Cher." I almost could hear the shiver in his voice.

The following slap to the arm was totally deserved. Sinking in to a pouting face, I muttered, "I'm gay jackass not a girl."

The room went completely silent except for the occasional beep from one machine or another that lined my right side. I felt the bed dip as Jace leaned away from where he sat side by side with me and then turned to face me. I quickly felt my face go red and I turned my head away from the gaze I knew was being placed on me. I mentally prepared myself before I spat out defensively, "What?"

Jace leaned back to where he had been before and I felt his shoulders rise in a clear shrug. "Nothing man. I guess I just can't remember your ever saying that out loud." Now I turned to look at him, trying to keep my face formed into a confused expression because I had no idea what the hell he was talking about.

He must have gotten the message because he started to explain more before apparently remembering something, "OH! I have that jacket and change of clothes you asked to me to get, but I if you were cold you could have just asked for another blanket. The nurses will grab it for you, ya know." The blood rushed to my cheeks and I heard Jace chuckle. I slapped his arm again before he continued, "What I meant earlier was that you never talked about yourself like that before. You just... I don't know."

I didn't know what to say so I just made fun of him, in a brotherly way of course.

"God Jace, where does Clary have your balls? You sound like a girl."

Jace laughed it off and I think he shook his head. After that we fell into a discussion about Clary and how Jace thought Clary might be "the one" and that he might love her. From their conversations I knew it was true and I was happy for my little brother. Jace deserved to be happy and to have someone there for him after his long shifts at the firehouse. Since being made chief he was pulling way to many hours and it was affecting his health.

I knew why he didn't want to come home. It was the same reason I wandered the streets for hours after my shift ended at the guitar center. The same reason my mother didn't live in Switzerland. The same reason Izzy is terrified of the dark.

Max.

But I wasn't going to think about him. I wasn't. I was going to think about how in 5 hours I was going to leave this hell of a hospital bed. I was going to go home. Yeah, I had to deal with a wheelchair and then crutches but I would survive. I was going home and that's all that mattered.

About half an hour later I heard something clacking against the door. I sat up and winced, still on edge and in pain, before Jace pressed my shoulder back against the bed. With a smile in his voice, he said, "Wait here I think that's Izzy."

The bed dipped from Jace's shifting weight and then he was gone, striding over to the door. After 3 slaps from his flip flops, I heard the click of the door popping open and then I heard Izzy's clicking heals approaching my bed. She was breathing heavy and I almost asked her if she was in need of her inhaler but I got my answer a second later.

"Damn Alec, you had to get the biggest ass service dog ever didn't you?"

I must have gotten a shit eating grin across my face because Isabelle laughed before placing a warm and fuzzy body at my feet. I completely forgot the aching in my ribs and my numb shoulder for a second as I leaned down to put my hands in my best friend's fur.

"Oh buddy, I missed you so much!" I said in a sing song voice. I could have sworn I heard Jace mutter "pussy" in the corner but I don't care. All I knew was that, broken as he may be, Jacob was going to be alright. Speaking of broken, "Iz how is he?"

"Oh he is about as screwed up as you are. Smashed ribs and hips. Can't walk for 3 months, so you'll have to deal with walking around without him for a week but we got you big bro."

All I could say was, "Thank you Izzy."

Sounding slightly choked up, she said the returning welcome and I left it alone, turning instead to my dog. Letting my hands run over the familiar muscled body and coming up short as I hit hard plaster. I then leaned back, letting my hand just rest on Jacob's head and gently ran it back and forth over his muzzle.

The next twenty minutes was filled with jokes and memories but eventually Izzy had to get back to her store after returning Jacob to the vet's office and Jace had to get back to the firehouse leaving me alone to my thoughts. I didn't really solve the world's problems though. Mostly, I just sat there skimming on my phone and IPod.

Thinking of my phone, I realized that Magnus and I had never exchanged numbers. Honestly, I bet he didn't even know I had a phone.

I was going to have to change that.

Leaving my phone on a cold plastic table at my side, I started sifting my IPod. I had over a 10,000 songs due to music sharing groups and many hours combing through the records in the back of the Guitar Center and I went back to the older additions, quickly remembering their notes and chords like an old friend.

Sitting here and listening to _The Dirty Looks _while humming along_, _I couldn't remember why exactly I had ever giving up singing. It was an escape I truly needed during these years of darkness. A flashlight to disperse the darkness. A guiding hand that could have kept me from becoming such a spiteful person. Maybe if I had kept music with me instead of pushing it away as hard as I had, then maybe I wouldn't have needed Ms. Burnet.

Adella Burnet was my "mentor" after the accident. A sweet old French women with a mouth like a sailor. I got paired with her because I was the only newbie who could speak French, Ms. Burnet's only language. She always smelled like sandalwood and never said a negative word about me. She did have to slap me around figuratively in the beginning though. I feel sorry for her now; having to deal with such a surly ass whole that had lost all will to even breathe.

I remember one afternoon in particular. We were working on something that I have lost forgotten, hell, I've forgotten a lot about that day but I do remember her words, the words that made me want to try for her at least.

"Alexander Lightwood you take off that mask of ugly this god forsaken minute. You are too damn beautiful of a person to let your face be twisted with hatred. I am going to tell you one thing right here and now. We cannot choose when it rains little one, but we can choose to buy a fucking umbrella and carry on with our day." All I did was shrink further down in the chair with a blush covering my cheeks and had let out a huff.

Adella had then gotten up and proceeded to walk right up to me and she put her hands around my face before saying, "Every single person on this green earth wants happiness without pain but you can't have a rainbow without a little rain. Now I want you to start again."

I had started again. I had started again in that lesson and in my life.

But maybe it would have been easier with the music. Maybe it would have been easier if I had something to go for, something to achieve.

As if I had asked to remember, a _P!nk _song comes on and all the pain comes back. Comes back in a wall that makes me choke and struggle to find my breath. All the pain and all the tears that I had cried in a hospital room that smelled so close to the one I'm in now.

All the pain of my father telling me I should be dead.

**_xxXxx_**

**So.. That was interesting.**

**I wanted to get this out there because I just watched the trailer and it was fucking EPIC! **

**SO expect an update to that … interesting? Annoying? I don't know funky? Conclusion by the weekend alrighty.**

**Also I don't own P!nk or The Dirty Looks (but if you are an appeasing kind of person please go check them out especially "Nobody Knows " by P!nk and "Glitter in the Air" by P!nk and "The Last Forever" by The Dirty Looks) *btw guys "Glitter in the Air" is my favorite song of all time! It's just so beautiful.**

**I hope you enjoyed this totally crap chapter that I did in.. Wow 34 minutes… impressive I must say.**

**OH! On the bus to a cheer competition I mapped out the whole entire story *laughs evilly* this trip shall be an interesting one my pretties.**

**As always happy trails my lovely Readers & Reviewers**

**~L.C (who apologizes for this crap chapter that she wrote in 34 minutes)**


	13. Call Me

**SO you guys I reread that last chapter I posted and it was complete crap**

**I'm sorry**

**This one I have not written in under an hour so hopefully *crosses fingers* it will be better**

**Don't expect much though… I'm currently running on 1 hour of sleep after I developed the horrible habit of pulling a **_**Herondale **_**and wandering the streets at night to escape my problems**

**I'm just stressed okay**

**Anyway please tell me if there are any serious issues that need to be addressed**

**Happy trails Readers & Reviewers**

**Oh! In there somewhere is a **_**Florence and The Machines **_**lyric (props if you find it and can name it) so I'm disclaiming that I don't own Florence *also Dalton Academy and Regis High which are both great schools in New York* and also the word "Magnusy" was created by AzOOAK and I promised the darling I would give her a shout out when I use it so…**

**Cheers to you hunn for creating such an amazing word**

**Last disclaimer~ the "Alley Cat" nickname is the brain child of MagnusJane25**

**~L.C**

**_xxXxx_**

I honestly thought I was going to puke right there on the cool, hard tile. The feeling of a million memories rushing to be seen behind my eyes had me dizzy and nauseous and... confused. Even after staring, mouth wide open like a floundering fish, at the emerald eyes that still held a snarky glint but also a sadness and weight that I had never associated the their owner before and a body that practically oozed and dripped sex.

Eventually the smirk that had tilted Camille's blood red lips up faltered and was replaced by a frown that wrinkled the space between her slim blonde eyebrows. She put up her false bravado a second later and said, "Do you see something you like? Come on babe, give me a hug." She offered open arms and after a second of hesitation, I walked into them, pressing my long and lean body against her own short and petite but still curvy one. Standing in each other's presence was like talking to a relative with a broken leg.

Everything was familiar but I just didn't know what to do.

What did one say when you hadn't seen each other or talked for, what, 4 years? I just couldn't process the whole thing. After a tense and awkward few seconds Camille backed away from the embrace and smiled up at me, her short five foot six stature making her tip her head almost all the way back. I shook my head to clear the confusion and I partially succeeded before gesturing behind her and saying, "I have a fine piece of man candy to go see in room 234."

"Oh the Lightwood cutie? I just prepped him to go home. He should be outta here in say, 2 hours. He's a fine piece of ass that one." Somehow what she said was alright but all wrong.

How could she act like nothing had happened?

All I could do was nod for a second. I needed to set everything straight with Camille but not in her place of work. What to do? What to do?

"Hey Cammy before you go do you remember my number?" I waited for her to nod before I continued, "Well call me when you can hang out, catch up ya know." My voice was surprisingly smooth for the inner turmoil going on in my head and I mentally patted myself on the back.

Again she nodded before giving me another glimpse of her twinkling smirk before flouncing off, signature white blonde curls bouncing. That sight apparently broke the spell over my mind and I laughed at the whole situation.

She was right about one thing though. I had a Lightwood cutie waiting for me.

With this thought bolstering me, I out Camille behind me and in the back of my mind to stress about later. I walked the rest of the way down the hall to my luscious and hopefully in the future lover.

Even the mental image was doing a number on my leather clad member.

Speaking of, I honestly hadn't gone this long without sex since I was a non-blushing virgin. The whole thing was weird.

I wasn't going to push Alec to put out though. Hell he hadn't even kissed someone until he met me. Imagining what was under those baggy grey sweaters and painting mental pictures of those tightly muscled arms and abs that I had felt pushed up against me would have to hold me out for a while.

I wanted this to be special and not thrown away like the others.

So I stood outside the dull blue door labeled 234 "In Use" and mentally cleared my head of all my dirty fetishes and fantasies of the blushing angel inside. After all the sexy clutter was cleared away, I pushed open the door.

Alec was sitting crossed legged on the top of the sheets and in normal clothes. The whole scene would have been normal except for the slight hunch in his shoulders, the set of his profile, it all screamed of there being something wrong.

I knew I was right the second he looked up after I quietly shut the door.

There was no light in his bright blue eyes, just blank piercing blue orbs completely devoid of anything but pain. I instantly ran over, dropping my present filled backpack in the process, and as I got closer I saw he was slightly shaking.

I don't know how many times in the next few minutes I asked him what was wrong. He just shook his head and muttered "nothing." After a while I just took him in a hug and placed a gentle kiss on his forehead. No amount of prodding from me was going to make him tell me so I would let him figure out on his own.

Eventually though I had to let him go. As he unfurled those lashes to reveal his baby blues, that always held his every emotion, and looked to just the left of my head, he said, "I have two surprises for you."

I let a smile spread across my face and I gently tugged on a lock of hair that hung loosely in his eyes and said, "Oh ya," like a pathetic school girl. Honestly he had me smitten and he knew it.

"Ya... but I think you are going to have to earn it first." Alec shrugged and just the lightest of rose petal pink tinged his cheeks.

My pants getting slightly uncomfortable was completely reasonable, especially with my sexy thoughts from earlier reappearing like magic in my mind's eye. Each its own tiny porno.

The whole situation was ridiculous!

I had to roll with it though. So as I thought of anything but luscious abs and sweat covered bodies, I said, "Oh but how can I ever earn your special surprises."

God now I sounded like some sex kitten.

Proving how right I was in dating him, Alec said, "Kiss me. I dare you."

Well I didn't exactly need more than that and I jumped on him.

Lightly glossed lips slide in time with dry but smooth ones for about 5 minutes before Alec pulled away, slightly out of breath. A Cheshire cat grin spread across his angelic features and he pressed his lips and eyelids together, almost as if he was trying to keep the kiss inside of him, before he rotated in place to grab a mass of white cloth behind him. Unfurling it I saw it was a sweatshirt that said _Dalton Academy Student Council 2006-2007 _in navy lettering_._

It was fucking adorable.

Snatching it out of his hands and shimming into it, I found it fit perfectly. I looked into the shiny surface of the wall opposite where we had been making out previously and saw on the back it said in a new shade of heather grey _President _and a half an inch underneath it said_ Alley Cat._

Holy mother of god.

I snickered lightly before turning myself around and getting up to grab the grey back pack I had dropped upon entering the room. Pulling out my own sweatshirt and setting it on the bed in front of Alec, where he sat cross legged in the middle of the bed.

I took his hands in my own and pulled them until they were over his head. Next I unfurled the softly worn maroon sweatshirt that read in white letters _Regis Swim_ and on the back just my last name in simple block letter that were now a little faded but you could still see _Bane _against the maroon.

Almost delicately, I pulled it on over top his baggy old sweater, all the while describing what it looked like and what it said. When I finally had the thing on him, I took a step back.

The color did wonders for his complexion, bringing out the ever present blush and the pallor of his skin.

I probably looked like a marshmallow in Alec's.

Not that it mattered. Before I could think to really do anything else I saw Alec take a deep whiff of the side of the sweatshirt. A shit eating grin smelled across his face and he honestly looked high.

I tried to think if said hoodie had ever came into contact with illegal substances that had such effects.

That had been years ago though. It couldn't last that long!

Just to be sure I hadn't just drugged my boyfriend; I asked him, "What?"

"Oh nothing it just smells so I don't know... Magnusy. Like matches and a forest."

Laughing so hard that tears came out my eyes, I doubled over. When I righted myself I was met with the vision of a pouting Alec. After I had barely collected myself, I said, "That was so fucking adorable you have no clue."

Now fully in control of my giggles, I stepped back into Alec's personal space and said in a breathy voice, "Now what was that other surprise?"

Again, much to Alec's credit, he replied in a voice that made me want to weep with sexual frustration, "I think you know."

I seriously was about to rape him.

Defile the poor bastard.

Do evil and dirty things to him.

Just two zippers stood between me and a law suit.

Really what could it harm?

Oh right, my relationship with a god.

So I just leaned him gently back, all the while keeping our mouths busy, until his back was flush against the hospital's lumpy mattress. Slowly, as if not to frighten him, I rolled my hips forward and received a low groan from the blue eyed boy underneath me.

I could just hit him over the head...

I could do a lot of things.

There was a reason I also did gymnastics for 15 years of my life.

I was very flexible.

Somehow as if my dirty plans had invaded his little virgin ass mind, Alec pulled back and brought out a small device that looked like a remote.

My god it was a phone.

"I'm sorry I never gave you my number. I just never thought about it." Now I was laughing, all thoughts of _other _things devoid from my mind. I pulled out my own IPhone and we switched numbers like it was the first time we had met.

Just sitting her and staring at Alec type in my number was quite mesmerizing. The way he slid his fingers over the keys was so similar to the way his fingers slid over the guitar frets, elegant and well-practiced.

I text him for a good five minutes just to watch to show of his reply.

Of course, I didn't do that forever.

Who do you think I am?

After sending a "winky" face and giving him appropriate time to read the message and a confused expression to grace his face, I leaned forward and placed a sweet chaste kiss on his lips and pulled back. This time Alec initiated the kiss and slowly as we moved back and forth the kiss deepened.

We kissed and kissed like horny teenagers until both out lips were chapped and a ruby red. Alec pulled and said, "God Magnus, what time is it?"

"Bought eight o'clock. Why?"

"You do realize you should get back to your apartment. Iz will be here any minute to sign me out and then I shall be going home. You don't have to sit through all the boring paper stuff." I nodded to myself thinking that about my own mound of paperwork I had to attend too.

"Okay darling. I shall leave you to your dear sister, but have this to remember me by." I leaned in slowly and got one long last pull from his lips.

Turning my back on the beauty, I started to walk away, grabbing my backpack from its position on the floor on the way out. Just to feet from the door I heard Alec call from behind me, "Magnus, wait."

I turned on my heels and gave him an expectant "hmm."

"Call me?"

**_xxXxx_**

**Well *fans self* its heating up in here ;) **

**No offense but god I reread all my other chapters as well and realized just how unsexy they are.**

**So here was a taste off a pie that hopefully you like...**

**If you don't please tell me**

**I can always bake another**

**Anyway hopefully that wasn't as crappy as I have a feeling it is**

**Ah well screw it. I have problems to avoid.**

**~L.C**


	14. Something To Live and Sing For

**Ahh shit... I'm honored you guys… This humble little fic is 6 reviews away from reaching 100**

**I'm seriously about to cry**

**When I started this story I thought I would get 5 or 6 little reviews maybe... and I thought at least half of those would be telling me that I should just give up because I can't write**

**So since we all are so close I think we should do something...**

**Any ideas?**

**I have a soundtrack on my phone for this fic... maybe you guys would want to see it? Maybe I could write up a little blerp on why I listened to it?**

**That's kind of lame and unoriginal but anyways if you have any ideas for what I could write/do to honor this occasion tell me!**

**Now to the horrible backstory on why Robert Lightwood is (in my opinion) a douche bag**

**Happy Trails and Enjoy Readers & Reviewers**

**~L.C**

**_xxXxx_**

The moment the door closed behind Magnus, my shoulders sagged. The drunk, happy feeling that came over me whenever he was around had flitted away like a bird at the first sign of snow. I was left in a broken heap on the bed, clinging to the smell of pine cologne and matches. The smell that I had grown to love. The smell that made me smile. The smell of Magnus.

The memory I had fought for so long, intrusive and uninvited, flashed in my mind's eye. Each one digging a tiny hole in the walls around my heart. Few had entered that gate and even fewer were allowed to stay. The walls were cracking now and as they broke, I felt tiny tracks of salt water trace down my cheeks.

I bent in on myself, curling into a protective ball, and gripped on to the sheets. I needed something to keep my grounded in the darkness.

"_I refuse to have a-a disgusting faggot as my son! We can fix you Alexander, we can help you."_

Oh god no. The voice in my head made a sob rack my body and I buried my face into a pillow that smelled like bleach.

The smell did it and I was plunged head first into the memory.

_Why was the room all dark? Where was I? What-why-how did I get here?_

_A million questions raced through my mind as I tried to gage the situation. Then I remembered. I was at the hospital and-and..._

_I was blind now._

_Just the idea of constant darkness scared the shit out of me. How could I live like this? I was already enough of a freak, now I had to be the freaky freak._

_Then I remembered the reason why I was in the hospital and dealing with everything I was._

_Jonathan._

_The bleach._

_The burning._

_The darkness._

_Then a click sounded somewhere off to my right and I jumped so far out of the bed, I knocked a set of cold tools off some side tables. I was shaking, hard. Then a familiar gruff voice said, "Calm down Alexander. You will not embarrass me by acting like a startled deer. You stop that retarded shivering right now! I have some very serious business to talk to you about."_

_Oh dear heavenly father. I was shaking harder than ever but I said in a steady voice, "What do you need to talk to me about?" I had to keep the bluff up. It may not be what I thought it was. Maybe it would be about Jonathan getting ex-_

"_I-I have heard stories from Valentine about what other kids have said and what Jonathan has said and-and I want you to know that my mother and I understand. "_

_I couldn't help but stare, open mouthed, out into space. This was all I could hope for. This was better than anything I could have dreamed up. It felt amazing._

_Of course, I had to stutter though, "Re-really I-I didn't think. I-I didn't know. I'm s-sorry."_

_I felt a cold and callosed hand on my shoulder and I jumped slightly before settling back down._

"_We do Alec. We get that it wasn't your choice but we can help you. Valentine knows a wonderful man in Connecticut who treats these types of cases."_

_Now I was staring into the darkness in front of me out of confusion. Treat me? _

"_What do you mean? How can you 'treat me?" My voice was starting to rise slightly in pitch. I always had had this problem. When I got nervous I always sand sharp. I thought about how Mr. Huft would tell me to try to speak from my diaphragm. Quickly I refocused on what my father was saying. _

"_We both know you can't stay like this Alexander really. Right now you're a disgrace but Valentine says after a few months at this clinic you will be back to the person I know and love."_

_Now I wasn't caring whether or not my voice was steadily rising in pitch and volume. I just needed to figure what the freak was going on here. The words he was saying were clicking together to create a painting that scared me. He was still my dad. He was still the same person that used to take me out to the forest to go hunting. Why was he saying these words that dug tiny daggers into my heart._

"_How-how am I a disgrace? I've done nothing wrong. I'm the same person I always was. Why can't you understand that? Don't you still love me?" Everything was starting to hurt. My head, from trying to comprehend what made my father talk and act like this. My eyes from trying to keep them open and my heart, from slowly understanding that my father thought I was a monster. _

_He must have stood up and started pacing because a second later I heard the scraping of chair legs and then the scuff of his boots. Half a minute later he said in a harsh, angry whisper, "I refuse to have a-a disgusting faggot as my son! We can fix you Alexander, we can help you." _

_Now I was crying but I screamed, not caring who heard, the one thing I could say, "Why?!"_

_When my dad, the person I had feared for months for this very reason, said those next words in the most calm and dead serious tone, I realized he was serious and that I would never ever be able to tell him I loved him again._

"_Because Alexander. I would rather you be dead then gay." _

As I came back to myself and the present, I was struggling to breath. The whole thing had caused me to fall into a living hell. That sentence had broke everything I had to live for. Music didn't seem to have a point.

Why sing some silly show tune when your father thinks you should be dead than be who you are?

But now I had something to sing for. Now I realized that I had people that loved me just the way I was.

My always lovely and beautiful baby sister. My baby sister who the day she found out about me and what exactly I was told me that I was beautiful and that she loved me from the moon and back, even though she was just nine. My baby sister who knew just the right thing to say. My baby sister who was the most beautiful person in and out that ever walked the earth.

Jace, my best friend and brother through fire and everything else the world threw at who treated me like I was an equal even though we both knew he was better than me at everything. Jace who would probably help me hide several bodies and make a joke about how I was a busy man after words before clapping me on the back and helping me home. Jace who put everyone before himself and wore his heart on his sleeve even if he doesn't know it. Jace who was one of the two people on this earth that I'm one hundred percent certain that I can trust with anything.

I had things to live for. I had things to sing about. I had a reason to forget my dad and his prejudices, his hateful words.

So when my beautiful baby sister showed up 30 minutes later I was dry eyed and her sweet pea and vanilla perfume made a smile spread across my face. She got a wheelchair even though I told her I was fine to hobble out and together we left the hell of a hospital and my memories behind after lot paperwork.

Later as I fell into bed, after a short argument with Isabelle about how "fine" I was to be here alone and making sure I wouldn't wander off in the middle of the night, I grabbed a piece of a lyric;

_Live fast and die young_

_Forget the past and move on_

_What's done is done_

Then I rolled over and fell into a sleep filled with dreams of chords and lyrics about life, love, sisters, adoptive brothers, and beautiful green eyes that I will never be able to see.

**_xxXxx_**

**Well hell that was kind of crappy wasn't it...**

**I had to wing the flashback so I apologize for that**

**But ah well screw correct tenses! Who needs them?**

**Oh! The lyrics and from one of my new obsessions called "Noserings and Shoestrings" by Nina Nesbitt.**

**It's amazing and I hope you check it out!**

**As always Readers & Reviewers Hope You Enjoyed It and Happy Trails**

**(Don't forget to tell me what to do when we reach 100 reviews! Any ideas are welcome)**

**~L.C**


	15. I Might Have To Kill You

**Well… hi guys… how are you doing?**

**I was going to give you a long paragraph on how I'm so sorry that I haven't updated in forever.. but I decided to just simply say that I've been dealing with some serious health issues and my family, friends, school, and future has taken first priority at the moment. **

**~L.C (who is very tired)**

**_xxXxx_**

I loved _Starbucks. . _Always had and probably always would. The smell of the chocolate that puffed out on to the counter when the various steel tins were opened and the whir of the machines behind the counter, where the baristas expertly mixed a variety of caffeine clouded concoctions, let the stiffness and nerves in my shoulders just fall away. A place that could offer refreshment and cool air during the stifling summers and a haven of warmth during the frigid days like today. Also, if the chagrin from meeting Camille for second time in two years in the place where I originally meet her for the second time didn't kill your irony bone then I didn't know what would.

I combed the place from one green and brown wall to the other, person to person, but not a platinum blonde bunny in the place. Meanwhile, I was trying to ignore the little voice in the back of my head saying that maybe she didn't show or maybe she had jumped town again.

But hadn't Camille been the one to instigate the meeting? Didn't she want to see me? I mean of course I wanted to meet her but she had called first and who was late to their own meeting?

A tiny ding from behind me brought me back from combing through the memory of Camille's call, which interrupted a baking session that would have produced delicious fudge oranges, only to see the life-size Barbie herself. A blue _Coach Poppy _bag circa 2009 swung on her gracefully pale arm and a pair of _McQueen _dragonfly leggings that made her petite legs look dream worthy. Overall a demur outfit for my friend topped off by her signature curls and blood red smirk.

I stood up, caramel brulle latte and birthday cake pop in hand, before straightening my sequined blazer and walked over, smirk in place to hide the confusion my heart really felt. I took maybe four steps before my outrageous height or my outrageous outfit or just my overall outrageous-ness caught her eye and that emerald gaze pinpointed me. I took another few steps and opened my arms, an invitation that I hoped against every awkward hope that she wouldn't refuse.

She didn't, praise the deities, and once her body was flush against mine, arms wrapped securely around me as if she were afraid I was going to crumble, I let my face fall out of its careful composure for a needed second before snapping my customary smirk fell back into place and I pulled back. Keeping her at arm's length, I inspected the face I once knew as well as my own and noticed the new scar above her perfect eyebrow and just below her right temple. It was supposed to be covered by her carefully coiffed bangs but from my high vantage angle I could see the long, thin white line. A scuffle perhaps, but I didn't think so. If it was a fight, it was a high stakes one.

If growing up in the ghetto taught you one thing, it was how to identify a knife wound.

"Heya babe." I shook off my visual catalogue of possible scenarios and refocused as I let her go, arms falling awkwardly at my sides instead.

My voice wasn't helping the awkwardness when I said, "Hey."

Camille's smile faltered and I she visibly shook herself before the smile lit up her face again and her high trilling voice said, "Can you wait outside with Anna while I get my coffee and then we can walk and catch up?"

I gave her a quizzical look. "Anna?"

Her false lashes fluttered when she laughed and explained, "My dog. She's grey with a brown face, looks like a rug. Can't miss her and if you do, which you won't, just call her name and she'll be at your side."

I nodded familiar by now with the "obedient dog" thing after the month with Alec and turned with a little wave of my hand to the door. I didn't look back as I maneuvered through the various stacks and piles of ground coffee and ceramic mugs and kettles before pushing open the glass door.

Stepping outside into the slushy wonderland, a shiver rocked my body before I slung on tweed trench coat. I swiveled my head and instantly caught the "rug" laying down stoically behind the specials sign. The dog's long face swiveled as people entered and excited the _Starbucks_ but she never moved from her spot, paws crossed in front of her in the most decided position of elegance a dog could possibly hold.

If this wasn't Camille's fucking dog then I don't know what was.

Just to be sure there wasn't another dog with crossed paws milling around New York, I said, "Anna?" Feeling idiotic all the while because it sounded like I was asking the dog's name.

The dog turned her face toward me, blue grey eyes focusing in like a deer sight, and looked almost quizzically at me, as if trying to decide if I was talking to her, and I repeated her name. This apparently made the decision for her and she stood up, shook off her long flowing coat and walked over silently, before sitting at my heel, crème head coming to my waist.

Placing a gentle hand between her floppy ears I patted it absent mindedly, inspecting my violet nails. A vibration in my front pocket made me jump slightly but I pulled out my phone seeing the little bubble read _One New Text Message from Alec : )._

Excited I swiped the bottom bar and quickly typed in my password, which was password incidentally, and waited impatiently as the white screen focused in and the little green and white bubbles popped up.

_How's it going? Bite your head off? Any serious damage that medical personal should be aware of?_

I laughed before quickly snapping off a reply.

_Nothing serious. She's stole my balls and hid them somewhere._

Waiting for the white line that replaced Alec's name to fill up, I looked back through the frosted windows, seeing that blonde head bob close to but not at the counter. I let out an exasperated huff of air, even if I was being a queen, it was cold and I couldn't exactly start walking without her. My mind refocused off the cold the next second though because my phone buzzed again.

_Oh.. that sucks I guess…._

Now I laughed picturing a blushing Alec, sitting on that denim couch straight out of an episode of _Friends, _with his little braille keypad and his phone attached with that thin black cord that he always seemed to misplace. The image made a small smile break across my face and I didn't hesitate to pound away on my phone in reply.

_Your blushing aren't you?_

I popped my head up to see if Camille was making her way toward me. She wasn't. She was still standing in line, admittedly closer to the counter but still not there. I huffed again, my breath making a little cloud so I indulge my inner child and blew out another breath creating another cloud and I did it again and again and again and again, acting like I wasn't the twenty-four year old I was.

Midway through another breath my phone buzzed. Before I could even unlock my phone, it buzzed again, alerting me to another new message.

_NO!_

… _Ye. But it's not my fault! Good luck I hope you find your… yeah that_

I didn't hesitate to expand on the dots.

_Balls? Gosh darling I didn't know you cared that much ;)_

I went back to blowing into the air, creating clouds of moisture that disappeared as quickly as they came. Checking every now and again back to wear Camille was finally waiting at the alcove at the end of the counter for her order, I waited a good five minutes before quickly typing off a _Kidding! She's almost back, see you later? :*_

I pocketed my phone, having to push fairly hard to get it into my new leather pants that had yet to be washed to perfection, spotting that blonde head bobbing back and forth towards the exit and hearing the resulting ding when Camille pushed the glass door and walked towards me, black and gold stiletto boots clacking against the gum covered pavement.

"Ready?" I asked, receiving a blonde bob of the head in response.

Camille called her dog over and ran her hands through the long, silky fur, somehow managing to find a blue green and brown braided leash in the middle of all the hair. Waving a coffee cup filled hand we started walking. New York's early November air bit at our cheeks and noses turning her pale one's pink and my caramel one's a deep scarlet that was barely visible but there all the same.

I decided to break the silence first by saying, "Camille can we just call the pink elephant in the room fabulous and say what really needs to be said!"

She turned those fiery green eyes on me but I didn't buckle underneath the gaze and she faced forward again, never stopping her forward march, before replying, "I have no idea what you talking about."

I felt that little bubble of anxiety that had been sitting there since we reunited two weeks ago burst and turn into hot frustration, tired of Camille's bullshit. I whispered in the fiercest voice imaginable, "OH I think you do darling!"

"I don't!"

"But you do Camille! You left, you left off to find some sister of yours after I told you my biggest secret. I told you and you fucking left. All I had was some note written on the back of one of my bills to tell me that you weren't stolen or anything else. I even waited for you to walk back through that door saying how it was just a drunken pipe dream or-or something! But no, you left for two fucking years Camille with nothing to tell me that you hadn't been killed or became some harlot or anything! I-"

Camille cut me off, "_She'sdeadokay!" _barely above a whisper.

I didn't even hear her the first time so, practically yelling and causing quite a scene, I said, "What?"

Camille looked up at me with the most heartbreaking expression when she said, clear and unwavering, "She's dead. Car crash, died on impact, no pain. I didn't even get to talk to her! I just sat at her gravestone and balled like a bitch and I sat there until the funeral home told me to leave. I-I didn't even get to say good bye." The last word seemed to break her and with mascara pouring down her face she grabbed my coat and pulled me toward her, hiding her face in the folds of fabric.

I didn't know what to say, not expecting such a violent and sudden reaction that made every action before that make sense. I just stood there as her salty tears wet the front of my coat and tiny sobs racked her chest making her shake violently. What was I supposed to do? How was I supposed to comfort her? I just couldn't find an answer to all the questions pounding through my brain, so I just sighed, wrapping a gloved hand around her waist and running the other down the back of her head. Trying to comfort her wasn't something I was expecting but soon enough my counseling degree kicked in and I said in a whisper, "Come on, let's go back to my place."

Emerald eyes peered up at me and then Camille nodded her head, composing herself.

We walked hand in hand, like children in a fairytale, Camille sniffling and me searching my brain for what to do, until we hit my brownstone. The building seemed to actually turn on my brain and I ran up the steps, Camille and her dog trailing behind me. Bounding to my front door and unlocking the door with as much control as I could muster, I pushed open the heavy door and walked straight into my kitchen, looking for the marshmallow vodka and chocolate mix.

By the time Camille and Anna had made it through my front door, I had two steaming cups of spiked hot coco and a bowl of few packages of string cheese in my hand. I must have looked crazy because Camille eyed me almost warily and shut the door with one hand behind her.  
"What with the string cheese? I'm lactose intolerant remember?"

I waved away her concern with my well-manicured hand, turning to the miniscule glass coffee table instead. I set down the two mugs and straightened out my back, facing Camille where she stood, still acting like she was on enemy territory.

Having to just roll my eyes at her, I called her dog's name, watching the graceful creature eye Camille for a second before walking over to me. I smiled knowing that once I had the dog I had Camille so I kneeled down till I was nearly sitting on the floor before splitting the first white stick of cheese and gave it to the dog.

Watching her eat it up like candy, I smiled , happy that my assumption was correct.

Camille just shook her head and muttered something before finally coming and sitting on my denim couch. I sat down opposite her and said, "I'm sorry for pushing you."

Waving her French manicured hand again, she replied, "It's fine. I thought I had made peace with it but I guess not."

Trying not to make it obvious that my counselor side was analyzing her body language and the tentative way she tried the hot coco, coffee cup forgotten on my table. "If anybody knows how hard it is to make peace with something it's me. I get it really-"

"She had a baby girl. Her dad didn't want her after Maddie died, and since I'm her legal guardian apparently , I have a five year old now." She said it in the most matter fact and blunt voice that I had to rethink exactly what she had said to comprehend what exactly that statement meant.

"Oh…" Truly the highest of my compassion was coming across.

"Yeah. So I'm sorry I left and never came back but I just had a lot on my plate. Can we just see this pile of shit and move on? Please? Cause honestly I just want my best friend back."

I thought , but not for too long. Of course I would accept her apology. I would have accepted it if her reason for being away was that she had meet a guy who was hung like a horse and they were having great sex every day and she didn't want to leave him. Camille's friendship was like a drug and like it or not I was hooked.

So with a conspiratorial wink and an airy wave of the hand I said, "What pile of shit? I don't remember any pile of shit. I do remember though that those boots look fucking fabulous!"

A tinkling laugh and I knew everything was going to be alright.

We sat in comfortable silence that was so different from the silences before and we just sipped our cups for a while. I would bend down from my stretched out position on the couch every now and again to give Anna another piece of cheese.

After I finished off the second package Camille gestured to the third one sitting on the table and said, "Where'd you learn that dogs like cheese? I thought you were a cat person."

I nodded, trying to keep the stupid smile off my face while saying, "Jacob loves cheese. Alec showed me once and I figured it wouldn't kill her."

Utterly unprepared for the pillow thrown at my face I made an inappropriate noise for a man of my age and hit at it weakly, doing no real damage to the pillow or the thrower.  
"You are whipped, Magnus Bane!"

This got Camille a death glare thrown her direction and I sat up, ignoring Anna's outraged whimper at being ignored. I said in possibly to outraged voice to be believable, "I am not 'whipped'," I added air quotes to the last word to emphasize my dislike of such terminology in relation to me. "We care about each other and th-"

I didn't get to finish my tirade because Camille spat out in-between giggles, "You ever seen him in his underwear?"

My eyes bugged out of my face and I must have looked thoroughly ridiculous because Camille laughed harder and screamed, "I have! Working at the hospital has its benefits."

I stopped laughing instantly, looking over at my reinstated best friend. She stopped her giggles after a while as well, choosing to look at me confusedly instead.

I got up and slowly moved over to the couch where her pretty little ass sat and I looked at her very seriously, grabbing her wrists.  
"You must tell me every tiny detail or I may just have to kill you."


	16. Unfortunate Responsibilities

I really am sorry but I am forced to announce that I must put this story on hiatus until my school year is over.

My last few chapters have been suffering as far as quality and you guys deserve way better.

Also with testing coming up in a few weeks and graduation after that school is very important right now.

The end of my school year is June 7th and I shall post a new chapter as soon as I get home and with that new chapter I will hopefully have a few different chapters updated to be better because my quality has suffered.

To pay for you guys for being amazing I will give you a paragraph that fits into the next chapter.

Again, I am so sorry for having to do this but school is just too important at this stage in the game and I hope you can understand.

Much appreciation on my end

~L.C

**_xxXxx_**

Special Preview for Next Chapter~

Shock coursed through my body and I sank into the couch, hands flying out as if I was falling. My head flicked around trying to connect the face to the voice.

"You l-love me?" My stutter was back in full force but I was too confused to care. How could he just barge in like this, in my apartment, in the middle of the day. I knew in the back of my head it shouldn't be so hard to believe, he was supposed to wasn't he? Yet even with all of the logic in the world saying that I shouldn't be so shocked, there was a million more that made this out to pure idiotic craziness.

The voice was all business and I almost relaxed and smiled at the familiarity but contained myself as it said, "Of course I do. Don't be an idiot."


End file.
